Spiritual Divide
by TaraAnyaKate
Summary: Chapter 18...Carlos and Holly name the baby
1. Default Chapter

****

February 14th, 2004

Carlos walked up the stairs to the firehouse. He wanted to curl up and die. Today had been utterly long and boring. Most of the people him and Kim brought in were allergic reactions to their Valentine's candy. The coolest victim they brought in was a guy with a diamond earring stuck in his eye. Blood was spurting every where. Gruesome. Carlos stopped at the top of the stairs and stared at Levine. She was on the floor, bending in very provocative positions. Her pelvis pointed to the ceiling. Carlos eyed her up and down. Wow, he thought.

"What are you doing?" He asked. Levine sat up and chuckled.

"Yoga." She said. "You should try it sometime."

"I don't think so." Carlos said walking up to the bunks. Levine got up and followed him.

"Why is that?" She asked him.

"Because it's for women and fruits." He said, "And I'm neither of those."

"You're tense though." She said.

"I am not tense." He said taking off his uniform shirt.

"Sure you are. You're giving off these huge tense vibes." Levine said. Carlos gave her a look, "And nasty vibes."

"Have you ever thought I get tense and nasty only when you're around, Levine?" He asked. Levine pouted playfully.

"Are you just sad that you don't have a valentine?" She asked.

"No." Carlos said, "Just go home to your girlfriend."

"As much as your fantasies want it, Carlos, "I'm not a lesbian." She said.

"Trust me," He took his under shirt off and looked at her, "I don't fantasize about you." Levine leaned against her locker and stared at him.  
"Can I come over to your place?" He looked at her shocked.

"What? No!" He said. She rolled her eyes.

"Get your mind out of the gutters, Nieto." Levine said. "I want to check out your apartment. There has to be a reason why you're always crabby. I'll feng shuay your room."

"I don't need no fungus." Carlos said.

"I'll bring some wine." Levine said, "What else do you have to do? No one should be alone on Valentine's day...Even you." Carlos looked at her.

"If you move my bed and stuff, I could get all like cleared in my head?" He asked. Levine smirked.  
"It's very possible. Depends on how you accept it." She said. He sighed.  
"Fine." Come by at eight." he said, "Davis will be gone by then."

  
* * *

He must be crazy inviting Levine back to his place. Wait, he didn't invite her. She did. Carlos went into the fridge to get out some snacks. He might as well be a good host with carrots.

"I'm out of here." Ty said.

"You look good." Carlos muttered.

"Why thank you, Doll." Ty said with a lisp, "I'll see you tomorrow." Carlos nodded putting some mini carrots on a plate. Levine was a vegetarian. She'd want veggies. Carrots and cherry tomatoes. He hoped that'd be enough for her. he went back into the fridge and pulled out the ranch dressing. She could dip her crap in here. He heard a knock on the door.

"Great." he put the tray of food on the table and went to the front door. Carlos glanced in the mirror before opening the door. Levine was already smiling big enough to crack her face.

"Here's the wine." She held up a bottle.

"Good." He took the wine bottle from her. He would need a lot of wine. "I ah...laid out some food if you're hungry."

"Yeah! Thanks!" She said walking into the apartment. Carlos shut the door behind her and went to grab some glasses for them.

"I'm opening the wine." He said.

"Great. I need some." Levine said, "So tell me, why don't you have a date tonight?" Carlos chuckled opening the bottle.

"I haven't had time to really pursue anyone, you know everything that happened with Kylie and Christian...Not to mention work." he said handing her a glass of wine.

"Yeah, I understand." She said, "But at least you got a healthy daughter and a brother out of all of it." Carlos smiled at her.

"Yeah, you're right." He said.

"You should do that more often." Levine said biting into a carrot.

"Do what?" He asked.  
"Smile. It becomes you." Levine said. Carlos cleared his throat.

"Let me show you my room." He said. Levine nodded. Anything to get away of her complimenting him. Carlos and Levine stepped into the bedroom, "Well, here it is. There's nothing much to it and I don't see how else we could move the furniture."

"I can see why you are what you are." She said sipping her wine.

"Yeah?" Carlos looked around.

"This room needs more colour." She said pointing to the bed, "We can move that vertical to the window and move your dresser near the closet. That should work just fine."

"That's all we have to do?" He asked. Levine nodded.

"We're going to have to paint these walls maybe blue or get some paintings on them." She said. Carlos frowned, "Do you have any paint? We could paint some pictures on them."

"Ahhh....I don't think so." He said, "I would rather hang pictures up."

"Have any family pictures?" She asked. he nodded.

"I have a lot now." He went into his closet and pulled out a photo album that Adam gave him.

"Terrific." Levine said finishing off her glass of wine. 

"I have some picture frames. Let me get them." Carlos went into the living room. Why was he doing this? he would probably hate all the changes that she'd make. He heard her grunted as she pushed the dresser. he laughed, "Let me help you." He grabbed a bag of frames he had just bought and went back into the bedroom.  
"Yeah, I need someone strong. What have you got in here? Anvils?" She said pushing her blond hair away from her face.

"That's exactly what I have in here." He smiled.

* * *

Carlos and Levine sat on the bed, with an empty wine bottle, staring at the pictures they had just hung. Their eyes were almost closed from too much liquor. Levine burst into laughter.

"What?" Carlos asked.

"You had big ears when you were a child." She stated.  
"And I don't know?" He asked. Levine looked at him and smiled.

"They're perfect." She slid off of the bed, "Let's move this sucker."

"You have a lot of motivation for someone who's drank too much." Carlos said getting up. "I'll take one side you take the other."

"Got it." She said. This would be comical. Two very drunk people moving a bed.

"Do you usually drink like this, Levine?" He asked.

"No." Levine said, "On my count. One...Two...Three." They began to push, but it was as if the floor was moving from beneath their feet. The bed wasn't moving. Levine's hands slipped and she fell onto the bed in a fit of laughter. "I can't."

"Me either." Carlos laughed laying down next to her. "The room is spinning."

"A good spin or a bad spin?" Levine asked.

"Since when was a spinning room good?" Carlos smiled at her.  
"Very true." She giggled propping herself up on her elbow, "Thanks for this. It wasn't a depressing Valentine's after all."

"You get depressed?" Carlos asked, "Colour me shocked." Levine rolled her eyes.

"I'm not always happy. Valentine's Day makes me even more depressed I'm single." She said.

"And why do you think you're single?" Carlos asked her.

"Men don't find my ways attractive I guess." Levine said. Carlos stared at her. Maybe it was all the liquor, but he found her attractive. She seemed so sad as she looked down. That was so out of character for her. Carlos touched her cheek softly. Her eyes turned up to look at him.

"I find them...cute." He said. Levine chuckled softly. "I'm serious."

"Sure." he said. Carlos licked his lips. It had to be all that wine. His fingers spread spread behind Levine's head and he pulled her against his lips. Her eyes slipped shut when she felt Carlos' lip touch hers. Her body shuddered, but she didn't pull away. it had been four years since a man had kissed her.

He was kissing Levine. Boy, the men back at the house would really laugh at this one. Who cares? Carlos slowly slid his tongue into her mouth. He felt her entire body just give up and will it to be his. That was what he wanted at that very moment.

Carlos pushed her gently against the bed. His free hand went around her waist. His thumb stroked the flesh of her side. That elicited a groan from Levine's throat. There was no turning back now.

Her hands pulled at his t-shirt. Her eyes sparkled as Carlos pulled it off. Yes, she had seen him without his shirt many times, but now, it was different. She arched her back so he could take off her shirt. His eyes widened when he saw that she was not wearing a bra. Why should that surprise him?

"I like feng shuay." Carlos said. Levine laughed softly as Carlos' fingers curled beneath the wait band of her pants.  
"Me too." She whispered. Carlos kissed her stomach as he pulled everything off. he three it across the room. His throat went dry. She was definitely lean and limber. Yoga was wonderful. "Take them off." His hands shook slightly as he undid his pants. He slid back into bed against her body after his pants were off. He could feel Levine's body tremble. "I'm nervous."

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to." Carlos said. Levine slid her arms around his neck.

"I want this. I need this." She said.

"How's my karma now?" He whispered.

"Wonderful." Levine kissed him softly. This was happening, She thought. She wished it wasn't after a whole bottle of wine, but hey. Breaking a four-year dry spell was worth it. 

Carlos positioned himself against her heat. Levine's eyes slid shut as he slid into her body. The feeling was almost over powering for the two of them. It was utterly wonderful getting the bedspring to squeak beneath them. It was more than just two bodies connecting thought Carlos. As Levine put it, It was more like two souls joining as one.


	2. Morning After

****

February 15th, 2004

Ty tiptoed into the apartment. Carlos would probably still be sleeping. He had to come home though. His night with Stacey was very very fun, but work was a priority over a booty call. Ty walked into the kitchen and started the coffee. He glanced at a purse that sat on the kitchen table. A small smile came across Ty's face.

"That dog." He chuckled. Carlos did have a girl over here last night. Why the hell didn't he tell him? Ty heard Carlos' bedroom door open up. Carlos shuffled in. "Have fun last night?"

"Huh?" He grunted. Boy did his head hurt.

"I know you have a girl in there." Ty said. Carlos rube his neck and saw Levine's purse.

"Oh. Yeah, well I know you had sex with that Stacey girl." He said. Ty rolled his eyes.

"Everyone knows that." Ty crossed his arms, "Who is it?"

"No one." Carlos said staring at the coffee machine. "A watched coffeepot never percolates."

"Who is it?" Ty asked.

"No one you know." Carlos said.

"Bullshit." Ty said, "If I didn't know her, you'd be boasting all over the place. I obviously know her."

"Levine." Carlos said under his voice.

"What was that?" Ty chuckled, "I couldn't hear you." Why did Davis have to be such an ass when he had a hangover?

"I had sex with Levine." Carlos said.

"Nature girl?" He asked. Carlos nodded, "Oh my god, Carlos. What's with you and those type of girls?"

"What?" Carlos asked, "Those types? What the hell are you talking about?"  
"Does Vangie ring a bell?" He asked.

"Levine isn't Vangie." Carlos said getting two mugs, "Vangie was nuts."

"Did you at least use a condom?" Ty asked. Carlos shrugged.

"I don't really remember." He said. Ty groaned scrubbing his face with his hand.  
"Need I say Vangie's name again?" He asked.  
"God, leave me alone, Davis." Carlos poured two cups of coffee and went back towards the room. He really didn't need this shit from Ty. "Wake up, Sleepyhead." Levine stretched in bed.  
"It's morning already?" She asked as she curled up in bed.

"Yeah." Carlos chuckled, "I made some coffee."

"I don't drink it." Levine said sitting up.

"How could you not drink coffee?" He asked.

"Dare I even go into how bad caffeine is for your body?" Levine asked him. Carlos chuckled.

"No." He said, "Davis knows you're here."

"Yeah?" Levine smirked, "What did he say about it?"

"He's over protective over me." Carlos said sipping his coffee, "I guess you remind him of Kylie's mother."

"Oh." Levine rubbed her neck, "How is Kylie doing?" She watched Carlos' face brighten at the mere mention of his daughter's name.

"She's a lot better." He said, "Want to see a new picture of her?" Levine nodded. Carlos reached into his bedside table that they moved last night and pulled out a picture. "Here."

"Oh! She is gorgeous." Levine smiled, "Look at those curls."

"I know." Carlos beamed.  
"She looks so much like you." Levine said. "You're very proud of her aren't you?" Carlos nodded.

"I've done a lot of shitty stuff in my life, but this...Kylie...she's not one of them." He told her.

"That makes you even more attractive." Levine said.

"It does?" Levine nodded.

"I have an hour before I need to get to work." She said.

"Me too." Carlos smirked putting his coffee down. Levine's eyes sparkled. "You up for some yoga?" She laughed softly and nodded.  
"Yes, a lot of yoga." She said.

* * *

Kim opened up the back of the bus. Stress was over taking her.

"Kim, can I ask you a question?" Carlos asked.  
"Yeah, sure." Kim said.

"Could you pair Levine and me up sometime?" Carlos asked. Kim stared at him.

"Levine? You complain every time you guys work together." She said. Carlos shrugged.

"Yeah. I know." He mumbled.

"Why do you want to-...." Kim's eyes widened, "Oh my god."

"What?" Carlos asked.

"You slept with her didn't you?" Kim asked pushing him into the Bus. Carlos laughed, "Don't laugh. It's very unprofessional."

"Unprofessional? You slept with Jimmy." He said.  
"Don't bring him into this." Kim said, "When you stop sleeping with her, you're going to hurt her, then I will have two paramedics refusing to work with each other."

"I swear, I'm not going to hurt her." Carlos said.

"Are you going to sleep with her while on shift?" Kim asked. Carlos chuckled softly.

"Who do you think I am?" He asked.

"I think You're Carlos. I know how you are." Kim said.

"Kim, if you don't put me with Levine then that's fine." He told her, "I'm just voicing my opinion here."

"Fine, but if there is an bad conduct, I'm writing you up." Kim said, "You're lucky I trust Levine." Carlos smirked.  
"Thanks, Kim." He said.

"Don't thank me until the shift actually goes well." With that, Kim left Carlos. He didn't care what Kim said. Any chance of getting a little making out in was worth it to Carlos.


	3. Doc needs a Doc

****

Note: Takes place during _No more, Forever_

February 20th, 2004

Faith slid her arm around Levine's waist. The woman was hysterical.

"Let's get you some coffee." Faith said, pulling Levine into the roll call room.

"No! I don' drink coffee!" She cried. Levine ran to the window. She stared at the officers running around outside.

"Levine?" Faith said, "Why don't you come sit down and tell me what happened."

"We just went back to see if Doc had arrived." She said staring at the house, "Carlos went upstairs ahead of me...There was a gunshot and I hit the floor. Oh god...What if Doc shot Carlos."

"I'm sure that Carlos is fine." Faith said. She watched Levine's body shiver.

"I can't loose him." She whispered.

"If you hadn't some gotten us, who knows how long this would have gone undiscovered for." Faith said. Levine glanced at her and sat down, "So, what's your first name? Levine is what I've always called you. You can call me Faith."

"Holly. I was a Christmas baby." She mumbled.

"Day or Eve?" Faith asked.

"Day." Levine said, "I know what you're doing Faith."

"What am I doing?" She asked.

"You're trying to divert my attention by asking me these questions." Levine said.

"Maybe I am.' Faith said, "back there you said Doc had been acting differently lately. How do you mean?" Levine sighed.

"Well, before I came to work for the 55, I always heard how amazing he was. Then Taylor died and...I don't know...I guess you could say I know the angry doc better in this life." Levine said shaking her head, "But the past week his temper...was wonderful. He was sweet and he threw a party...It was great."

"I've always loved Doc." Faith said.

"Why...Why do normally sane people shoot?" She asked.  
"I ask myself that everyday." Faith said. She watched the tears in Levine's eyes. She had to change the subject, "Are you married?" Levine shook her head.

"Widowed. Four years." She said, "Never marry your high school sweet heart." Faith chuckled.

"I did." She said.

"Oh." Levine said.

"Boyfriend then?" Faith asked. Levine sighed.  
"I...Um...Carlos and I...We have...We have a thing going on, but...I don't know where it's going." Levine said.

"You and Carlos...I can't picture the two of you together." Faith said. Levine chuckled.

"I know. Opposites attract." She said glancing back at the window, "I don't know what I'm going to do if..." She stopped herself. She couldn't think like that.

* * *

She was at her wits end. Her mind was working over time. She thought of the what ifs. She had to stay calm. She took a few deep-cleansing breaths. They didn't work.

"Holly?" Faith walked back into the room, "They're out."

"What?" She stood up.

"They were released and on their way to the hospital." Faith said. Levine's eyes widened, "Carlos is fine. Your captain was shot."

"Oh God." Levine whispered, "I don't know...God...I need to get to the hospital."

"Are you going to be okay?" Faith asked.

"When I see Carlos, I will be." She said running out of the room. Carlos was okay. She didn't believe it. She had to see him. Levine ran to her VW bug and jumped in.

Why was her emotions so invested in Carlos all ready? It would only wind up being a bad break up. She felt like she was going to burst into tears She came to a screeching halt in front of the hospital. Levine jumped out and ran into the ER.

"Proctor, where's Carlos?" She panted.

"he's in the lounge taking all our coffee probably." She said.

"Thanks." Levine walked to the lounge. She walked in a saw Carlos leaning over the sink. Levine let out a thankful sigh, "Carlos..." he turned around, "You're okay!!" She ran into his arms. Carlos clung to her tightly. "God." He whispered.  
"I w-was so scared." Levine cried softly. Carlos kissed the tears off of her cheeks.

"He put the gun against my head. He...that..." Carlos chocked back his tears.

"I thought he shot you." She whispered.

"I'm fine. I'm fine.' Carlos kissed her lips. Levine slid her arms around his neck tightly. God, both of them just needed to be held. Fear drained a lot out of their energy but with each other's help, they could survive.

* * *

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	4. Relaxing

****

March 5th, 2004

Carlos had to admit it. He enjoyed having a woman. It wasn't like him and Levine was serious, but it was more serious than any relationship he had been in in a very long time. It helped forget about Doc too.

Carlos ran his thumb over the small scar on Holly's stomach. She giggled softly. Holly saw the wheels turn in in his head. 

"What are you thinking about?" She asked as she ran her hand through his hair.

"I was wondering how you got this." He said. She smiled weakly.

"Five years ago I had a miscarriage in my eighteenth week." She said Carlos face fell, "There were problems and I had to be rushed to surgery. She um...They let me see her..." Carlos watched the sadness fill her eyes.

"I didn't know." He said.

"Why would you?" She smiled weakly, "Only my ex and family knew."

"It was a girl?" He asked. She nodded.

"Yes. Kindred Hope." She said. Carlos kissed her collarbone. "I'm lucky though. Not everyone has a guardian angel looking out for them...I just thought I was going to be a good mom."

"You will be someday." Carlos said. Who know a scar would reveal so much about her. "Want me to make some French toast?" A beautiful smile came across her face.

"That sounds wonderful." She said. Carlos kissed her neck and slid out of bed.

* * *

Carlos watched Holly's tongue lick up the syrup off of her lips. He sighed softly.

"If I had known we'd be like this, I wouldn't have been such a jerk to you when you first started here." Carlos said. Holly laughed softly.

"You weren't a jerk. You just were close-minded." She said getting up to wash her plate.

"Close-minded." He chuckled, "yeah, I suppose I can be at times" She leaned against the sink staring at him.

"I want you to meet my sister." She said. Carlos stared at her. "Heather would really like you."

"Holly and Heather..." Carlos couldn't help but to laugh. She rolled her eyes. "Any brothers who will beat me up?"

"It's just heather and I, but my brother in-law is pretty protective over me." Holly said.

"Great." He chuckled weakly.

"I'm having tea with Heather today and I'd like you to come." She said. Carlos nodded.

"I would love to." He said.

* * *

Why was he doing this? They weren't serious. Calm down, Carlos thought, it's just tea and a bite to eat. You're not meeting her father.

"There she is." Holly pointed across the restraunt to a beautiful woman. She could have been Holly's twin. Her hair was down to her waist. She was wearing some blank pants and even though it was cold out a green tank top.

"It's about time." Heather laughed.

"Sorry." Holly smiled, "Heather, this is Carlos."

"Hey." Heather shook his hand.

"Hey." He said.

"I ordered." Heather states.

"Great. Get me iced tea and a garden salad," She said, "I'm going to go wash my hands."

"Okay." Carlos said watching her walk to the bathroom. Great, she left me alone with the sister, Carlos thought.

"So, you work with Holly?" Heather asked. Carlos nodded.

"Yeah, I'm a paramedic." He said. Heather glanced back towards the bathroom and back at him.

"What are you doing with my sister?" She asked.

"Excuse me?" He frowned slightly.

"Holly has been hurt before. She's been too scared to even get into a relationship for the past four years." Heather said, "You must have something special for Holly to let you in. I don't want her to get hurt again." Carlos stared Heather. He couldn't believe her.

"I don't know what is going to happen between Holly and I but...I won't hurt her. I never want to do that." Heather smiled weakly as her sister came back. Now, Carlos was uncomfortable. He knew her ex-husband wasn't the best man in the world, but now his curiosity had been sparked.

March 19th, 2004

Holly sat in the passenger side of the bus quietly making a help bracelet. Carlos stared at her as he stopped at a red light.

"What the hell is that?" He asked. Holly chuckled.

"I'm making you a bracelet." She said.

"Bracelets are for girls." Carlos said.

"It'll look manly when I'm done with it." She said. Carlos grumbled loudly. She sighed. This morning, Carlos was woken up by a phone call from Doc. His doctors let him call Carlos. It had taken him off guard. "Doc is in good hands."

"Meadow Brook isn't where he should be.' Carlos said.

"Meadow Brook is a beautiful place." Holly said, "They have the best psychiatrists. The grounds are gorgeous. Doc needs it."

"How would you know?" He asked.

"My friend was in Meadow Brook the summer of 2000 and I visited her a lot." Holly said, "Doc is getting the best treatment."

"Regardless, he just shouldn't be there." He said. Holly rolled her eyes.  
"He needed help and now he's getting it." She said, "So let's drop it."

"Fine." He said, "I don't want a bracelet, Holly." She smiled.

"Oh Shut up." Holly said, "Just give me time and you'll love it." Carlos grumbled again.

* * *

"Nice bracelet." Jimmy said stirring the sauce in the pot. Carlos looked down at his wrist.  
"Knock it off. Holly made it for me." He said. Jimmy held up his hands.

"No need to get defensive." He said, "I like it."

"You do?" Carlos asked. Jimmy nodded.

"Very surfer dude." He chuckled, "You think she'd make me one?"

"Yeah..." He looked down at his wrist. Maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to judge a simple bracelet. "You don't think it's gay or anything?" Jimmy laughed.

"You're unbelievable, Nieto." He said draining the pasta.

"Yeah, I know." Carlos walked upstairs to the bunks where Holly was changing, "Doherty wants you to make him a bracelet." She smiled looking at him.

"I told you everyone would love it." Holly said. Carlos nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I know. I didn't believe you though." he chuckled, "Do you want to grab something to eat later?" Holly batted her eyelashes.

"I would love to." She said. Carlos grinned grabbing her by her waist.

"You're crazy." He said.  
"I've been called worse." Holly slid her arms around his neck. She kissed the tip of his nose. "Maybe after we have something to eat, we can go back to your place and....have a little yoga session."

"If Davis isn't there." Carlos said. 

"Sounds perfect." Holly said, "And if he is we can always go back to my place."

"That sounds even more perfect." He said as he kissed her softly. It was okay that the day had started off so badly. It was going to end perfectly.

* * *

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	5. Drunks and Calls

****

April 10th, 2004

Carlos wiped his hands on his jeans as he sat in the white room. His heart raced as he stared at the door. Carlos was visiting Doc and he was very nervous about it. The door opened up and a man with Doc walked in. Doc's face brightened up.

"Hey, Carlos." He said sitting down at the table with a smile.

"Hey." Carlos said.

"Thanks for coming. It's been awhile." Doc said. Carlos nodded.

"A lot has went on." He said, "You've missed a lot."

"Tell me all about it. I haven't heard anything in awhile." Doc said leaning back. Carlos sighed glancing around.

"Well, Yokas is riding with Boscorelli. Monroe was suspended for thirty days. Um, I'm seeing someone." He said. Doc's face brightened up once again.

"Who?" He asked.  
"Holly. Holly Levine." Carlos said to him. Doc nodded.  
"She's a great woman." He said.

"Holly is amazing." Carlos said, "Doc...Monte, why did you call me here?"

"It's part of my recovery. I'm supposed to call and apologize to the people that I hurt. you're the only one I can face." Doc said.

"you didn't hurt me." he said.  
"Yes I did." Doc said, "I know I did. Tell me I did." Carlos looked away, "Nieto."

"You pissed me off. You disappointed me." Carlos said, "you were my role model. I wanted to be a damn good paramedic because of you and now...now I don't know what the hell I want."

"Stay with what you love." He said.  
"I don't know what that is anymore." Carlos said. Doc sighed.

"I'm sorry, Carlos." Doc said, "I just...I kept things in me and didn't tell anyone. If you ever have a problem, tell someone."

"I have a problem with you." Carlos stood up, "I'm sorry, Doc, but I can't do this. I can't look you in the eyes and forgive you and make believe everything is all right. My girlfriend is still petrified something will happen to me and frankly, so am I. My dreams have been shattered. My future is up in the air all because you couldn't admit when you needed help. I would appreciate it if you never called Holly or I again." Doc stared at Carlos. he wouldn't look at him in the eyes, "Okay?" Doc nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"That means nothing to me, Doc." Carlos said walking out of the room. he exhaled and thought he was going to pass out. Did he just yell at Doc? He scrubbed his hand over his face as he walked outside. The cold air felt good as he walked the grounds. Holly run up behind him.

"How was it?" She asked.

"Oh just peachy." he said. "I never want to come back here again." Holly looked around herself and chuckled softly.

"I would love that." She said taking his hand. "Come on. let's go and grab something to eat."

"All right." Carlos mumbled. He wondered if he would ever forgive Doc. Right now, as he saw it, he wouldn't. He still didn't understand why the whole incident happened. He probably never would.

April 25th, 2004

Ty and Carlos sat at the bar staring at the mug of beer in their hands. Both of them had a very hard day at work and decided to go out drinking.

"Man, Our lives have certainly changed haven't they?" Ty asked.

"How do you mean?" Carlos asked.

"You're in a serious relationship with Holly and I'm in one with Stacey." Ty said. Carlos looked at him.

"You and Stacey are serious?" He asked. Ty nodded.

"Oh yeah." He said, "She's the only booty I want." Carlos chuckled sipping his drink.

"Weird." He said, "I never thought you'd be a one booty man."

"Well, have you see Stacey's?" Ty groaned.  
"No. My eyes only go to Holly's." Carlos said.  
"She has a nice one too." Ty said.

"Hey!" Carlos smacked him ordering another drink. "Yeah, life is different, but in a good way. For me at least."

"Me too." Ty said as she drank the rest of his beer. Okay, they were getting drunk and fast. "Man, I like this song." Carlos watched Ty's body sway. He laughed sliding off of the stool. The bar swayed around Carlos.  
"I should call Holly." he mumbled.

"Why?" Ty asked, "We're having FUN!"

"I know, but I need to get home. We need to get home." Carlos said, "We have work in the morning."

"Work Smork." Ty said. Carlos shook his head as he went to the payphone. The numbers were fuzzy as Carlos dialed Holly's cell phone number.

"Holly Levine. How may I help you?" She asked.

"That was so corny." Carlos laughed.

"Hey, Baby." Holly's face immediately brightened up, "Are you having fun with Ty?"

"Yeah. We drank a lot." Carlos said glancing at Ty.  
"My bonnie lays over the ocean. my bonnie lays over the seeeaaa." TY sang. Holly laughed.

"I can tell." She said, "What do you want?"

"I wanna come home and have a lot of sex." Carlos said.

"I'm flattered. You really know how to make a girl happy." She said, "Back to your sleaze ball ways?"

"Only with you." Carlos chuckled. Holly groaned.

"I don't want you or Ty driving when you're this drunk." She said.

"That's why I'm calling you, Babe." He said.  
"Well, be still my heart." Holly said.

"Please, Baby." Carlos said.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes okay?" Holly said, "Just don't drink anymore."  
"I'll try not to." He said. "I love you, Holly Berry." Holly shook her head.

"I love you too, baby." She said hanging up the phone. Carlos chuckled. He cheered loudly.  
"She's coming to get us." He whooped.  
"Joy." Ty said sliding off of his stool, "I don't think I can drink anymore."

"Good. We need to sober up before Holly gets here." Carlos said wobbling out into the cool outside.

Holly didn't mind it when they went out to drown their sorrows. She just didn't enjoy the hangovers and throwing up. Carlos didn't blame her. He didn't like that either.

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	6. Shock

****

June 1st, 2004

Sex was always good with Holly. It was always mind blowing. It left his body shivering with excitement hours later. Sex had never been this wonderful before.

"I'm going to take a shower." Holly said sliding out of bed. "Feel free to raid the fridge."

"Oh I will." Carlos got out of bed as he watched Holly's naked body go to the bathroom.

He was just too happy. It felt so good. Carlos grabbed a banana off of the table. He walked into the living room. He looked at a few pictures of them. They were a good-looking couple.

Carlos glanced over to the bookshelf. She had a lot of boring books that he knew he would never read. He pulled one out.

"Your Orgasm and You." Carlos chuckled as he opened it up, "Whoa." It had some graphic pictures. He began to flip through the book. A newspaper clipping floated to the floor. He picked it up and began to read it. His heart stopped.

Housewife sent to Meadow Brook

-Boston (AP) The month long trial is now over. Holly Carter was sent to Meadow brook institution for a month long evaluation. All charges were dropped due to the prosecutions battered wife syndrome defense.

Holly Carter was found covered in her husband's blood in her home in June. The couple had been married for eight years. Evidence had shown Carter had been abused from the beginning of their marriage.

Maxwell Carter was found dead in his kitchen. The argument before his demise was about his daughter that Mrs. Carter miscarried a few months before. He beat Holly until three ribs was broken, out of self-defense, she stabbed Maxwell ten times.

No funeral is scheduled for Carter.

Carlos stared at the article. Murdered? Holly murdered someone. His heart pounded in his chest as Holly came out of the bathroom wrapping a towel around her.

"Did you eat anything?" Holly asked. Carlos couldn't movie. "Carlos, what's wrong?" He looked down at the newspaper clipping.

"What...What is this?" He held it up.

"It looks like paper." She said drying her hair.

"I thought you were divorced." Carlos said.  
"I am." She said. Anger boiled up in his veins. He held up the clipping.

"You're a widow!!" He cried. Holly froze. Panic began to swell in her chest.

"You...you don't know what happened." Holly said;

"It looks like you stabbed him ten times." Carlos said throwing the clipping at her. Holly's hands began to shake.

"You don't know what he did to me!!" Holly cried.

"You lied to me!" Carlos yelled, "What kind of fucking relationship do we have??" Holly began to cry.

"I th-thought we had a good one." She sobbed.

"You lied." Carlos repeated.

"How am I supposed to bring it up??" Holly asked, "Oh by the way Carlos, My husband beat and raped me for eight years when he murdered out daughter, I snapped. I'm sorry I didn't tell but GOD! You did know what was going on! I was brought into that Boston ER over fifty times! Over three hundred stitches!"

"How did he kill Kindred? You told me that you miscarried." Carlos said.  
"After he beat me! I can still hear him yelling about her. "Holly sobbed as she stared at her hands. "She was so small. So tiny. He wanted to get rid of his problem. He took my baby away...I would...I would kill him again!!!!"

"Don't say that." Carlos said running his hand through his hair.

"If someone beat Kylie to death, would you seek vengeance?" She asked him.

"I probably would but that's not the point, Holly." Carlos said, "You lied to me. You didn't trust me enough to tell me about you pain."

"That's not true!" She cried, "I trust you!!"

"No you don't!" Carlos said, "Is that why you said Doc was in good hands? Because you know what it was like there?" Holly nodded slowly.

"Yes." She whispered. Carlos was pacing back and forth now. He ignored Holly's tears.

"I thought you....you always seemed...that you wouldn't hurt a fly...No mean bone in your body." Carlos said.

"There isn't." Holly said, "What happened that night...That wasn't me. Are you mad?"

"To say the least." Carlos growled.

"I'm sorry." Hollys aid. Carlos shook his head as he grabbed his jacket.  
"I can't...I can't handle this Holly." He told her.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Away. Away from you and away from a joke of a relationship this is." Carlos walked to the door. Holly jumped up.

"Please don't!!" She cried.

"I can't even look at you." Carlos whispered as he went into the hallway. Holly stood in her living room staring at the door sobbing. Carlos closed his eyes. He wasn't over reacting. His girlfriend murdered someone. He had the right to freak out.

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	7. A Talk

****

June 15th, 2004

Carlos still wasn't in a good mood. He missed Holly, but he wouldn't admit to it. He still felt betrayed. He purposely scheduled himself when Holly wasn't working. Kim just laughed and kept in saying 'I told you so'...If she only knew.

"I'm going to crash for awhile." Kim said going up to the bunks.

"Have fun." Carlos walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Excuse me?" A man walked up the stairs, "Is Carlos Nieto working?" Carlos frowned.

"That's me. May I help you?" He asked.

"I'm Jeffery Howlett..." He said the blank expression on his face. "Heather's husband...Holly's brother-in-law." Carlos remembered how Holly boasted over how protective he was with her.

"Ah..." Carlos looked around for Jimmy or DK. They could protect him.

"I'm not going to beat you up." Jeffery said.

"I...I didn't think that you would." Carlos said. Jeffrey chuckled.

"Yeah right." He said, "Could we sit down and talk?"

"Sure...Okay..." Carlos quickly sat down at the table, "I assume you want to talk about what happened between Holly and I."

"I want to make sure you know what kind of woman you're disposing of." Jeffery said.

"We're just on a break." Carlos mumbled.

"I have known Holly her while life." He said, "and I've never seen her this depressed before. Do you understand why she did what she did?"

"She killed someone." Carlos said.

"Yes, but it was self-defense. Max abused her sexually, physically, and mentally the moment she said I do."

"I heard that before and it makes me sick knowing someone touched her." Carlos said.

"She was put under so much stress in that marriage. She could take the beatings and the broken bones, but when Kindred died..." Jeffery shook his head, "She snapped and rightly so."

"I would too." Carlos said, "I just wish she told me."

"She wanted to make sure you were in this for the long haul." He said. Carlos sighed.

"I am. I've been miserable with out her." Carlos said.

"Go tell her that." Jeffery said. "She misses you and I want her to be happy again." Carlos sighed deeply as he closed his eyes. He wanted her to be happy again too.

Holly ran the brush through her wet hair. She stared at herself in the mirror. What was so horrible about her? Why couldn't someone love her? The doorbell began to ring. She opened the door and stared at Carlos.

"What do you want?" She asked him.

"I wanted to come by and apologize." He said. Holly crossed her arms.

"Do you know what you're apologizing for?" She asked him. Carlos smiled slightly.

"For overreacting and making you cry." He said. Holly stepped aside and let him in, "I never wanted to hurt you or bring up bad memories."

"I've tried so hard to move on with my life." Holly said.

"And I want to help you make your life better." Carlos said, "I am so sorry, Holly." She smiled softly.

"I'm sorry too." She said. Carlos wrapped his arms around her slender waist. He was starting to understand more and more how holly's mind worked. It didn't frighten him like he thought it would.

June 29th, 2004

Holly wasn't going to pretend that the pain was gone from their relationship because she knew it was still there. It was wonderful sleeping in Carlos' arms again though. She had really missed that.

"We should go to the beach." Carlos said. Holly nodded as she folded her clothes.

"The beach would be cool." She said.

"Do you want to go?" Carlos asked. Holly looked at him and nodded.

"It might be nice." She said, "Do you have a Speedo?" Carlos chuckled softly and shook his head. holly sighed playfully.

"No. just swimming trunks." He said.

"Should I wear my bikini or one piece?" She asked. A small smile came across Carlos' face.

"Bikini, most definitely." He said.

Carlos stared at Holly as she bathed in the sun. His finger touched one of the scars on her stomach. She opened her eyes.

"What?" She asked.

"I love you, Holly." Carlos told her. he meant it this time. he meant those three words. A large smile came across her face.

"I love you too, Baby." She said sitting up on her elbows.

"I love the person you are, the person you were, and the person you will be in the future." He told her. Holly sat up, tears in her eyes.

"Carlos, you rock." She laughed throwing her arms around his neck squeezing him tightly. Carlos chuckled squeezing her back. he pulled away slightly.

"Let's go swimming, Hol." he jumped up and water into the water. Holly chuckled as she watched him dive into the deep water. Soon he popped up and waved to her. "Come on!!"

"I'm coming." Holly got up and walked to the water. She shivered at the coldness. Carlos swam over to her and took her hands.

"Come on, baby." he said pulling her close. Holly chuckled.

"I haven't thanked you yet." She said wrapping her arms around him tightly. Carlos cocked his eyebrow.

"Thanked me for what?" he asked.

"For treating me nicely." She told him, "For treating me like a woman." Carlos smiled softly.

"Like I said, I love you and I hope you know I will never raise a hand to you." Carlos told her. Holly nodded with a slight smile.

"I know you won't." her arms tightened around him. Finally her life was good. Finally she had a wonderful man who would treat her good. Holly was finally happy.

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	8. Surpise!

July 14th, 2004

Holly, Heather, and Stacey sat on the floor with their eyes closed. Meditation was a wonderful thing. They needed time to relax after their long weeks at their jobs. Heather lay on the floor and began to laugh.

"I need to Fart." She said. Stacey and Holly groaned.

"Hold it in." Stacey said opening her eyes, "I don't want to smell it."

"Too late." Heather laughed.

"You're unbelievable." Holly groaned getting up, "You can't even meditate correctly."

"When I meditate my bodily functions let loose." Heather got to her feet, "I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." Holly watched her sister go into the bathroom. She shook her head.

"She's unbelievable." She said.

"She's cool." Stacey wiped off her neck, "My older sisters are jack asses."

"we all have our moments." Holly winked. Stacey leaned against the wall.

"You know how you wanted Ty and I to get more serious?" She asked. Holly nodded, "Well, We're going to be extremely serious in March."

"What do you mean?" Holly asked.

"We're going to have a baby." Stacey said. Holly's eyes widened.

"OH MY GOSH!" She squealed throwing her arms around her. "Are you serious??" Stacey nodded.

"I'm due on Saint Patrick's Day." She said as Heather walked out. "I'm having a baby." Heather stared at her.

"I missed something." She said. Holly slid her arm through Stacey's.

"Our friend here is going to have a baby." Holly couldn't stop smiling. She loved hearing happy news like this.

"How's Ty taking it?" Heather asked.

"Oh, he's thrilled." Stacey was beaming.

"We need to go celebrate." Holly said, "Come on. I'm taking you shopping."

* * *

Carlos and Ty sat at the bar sipping their beers. They needed to relax after their long day at work. the girls had their meditation, but they had their drinks.

"I need tot ell you something, Carlos." Ty said.

"Okay, what?" Carlos took a gulp of his beer. "Is it bad or good?" Ty shrugged.

"I honestly don't know." He said. Carlos put his beer down and looked at his best friend.

"Tell me." He said. Ty swallowed.

"Stacey is pregnant." He said. Carlos burst out laughing.

"Are you serious?" He asked. Ty nodded, "Man, you need to learn to put your thing back into your pants."

"If Stacey wasn't so hot I wouldn't have troubles." Ty smiled, "I'm going to be a dad, Carlos."

"That's a scary thought." He said, "But if I can do it you can do it." Ty frowned deeply.

"But you couldn't do it." he said. A grin spread across Carlos' face. He was very glad it wasn't him. He and Holly were always very careful and this was why.

July 28th, 2004

Holly buckled up her seat belt as Kim started to bus. There were too many pregnant around her, including her partner. It made Holly feel uncomfortable.

"And then Joey completely freaked out. I think he's happy though." Kim said. Holly looked at her. She must have missed the first half of the conversation.

"Well, I'm glad he's happy." Holly said. Kim smiled.

"me too." She said, "So, I haven't had a heart to heart with you in a couple of weeks. What have been going on with you?"

"Nothing much." Holly admitted, "Just enjoying my time with Carlos." Kim chuckled softly.

"I can't believe you're with Carlos." Kim told her, "I still can't picture the two of you together." Holly smiled weakly.

"Well, it's going very well." She told her partner. "I'm finally happy. I've been waiting a very long time for that."

"Well, That's wonderful." Kim said.

"I know we've only been seeing each other for seven months, but I think what Carlos and I have is going to get more serious." Holly said, "I could see myself marrying him."

"Wow." Kim said, "That's serious."

"I know." Holly said, "And I'm not one to step into the lightly."

"You lost your first husband. it's only natural to be hesitant." Kim said, "just take it slow as much as you need to." Holly smiled weakly. If she only knew, Holly thought.

"I think I love him though." holly said. Kim looked at her.  
"What?" She watched Holly blush deeply.

"I didn't want to say anything, but I want to tell him when he's ready, I want to marry him." She said.  
"you need to tell him." Kim said. Holly shook her head.

"We've been through too much and-" Kim stopped Holly.

"Exactly." She said, "he should know what you feel. you'd want to know if it was the other way around, right?"

"Well...yeah." She smiled weakly. If it was only that easy.

* * *

Holly knocked on the front door. her heart was racing. After leaving work she thought about what Kim had said. She was absolutely right. Ty opened up the door.  
"Hey." He said. Holly smiled softly.

"Is Carlos home?" She asked. Ty nodded and let her in.  
"Carlos, Levine is here." he called out.

"how's the packing going?" Holly looked around.

"Oh fine." Ty said, "I've brought most of my stuff to Stacey's all ready. It's all working out well." Holly smiled brightly.

"Well, that's really cool." She said, "I hope all of this goes well for the two of you."

"The three of us." Ty winked going back to his bedroom as Carlos walked out.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" He kissed her cheek.

"I wanted to tell you something." Holly said. Carlos nodded.

"I'm listening." He grinned putting his hands to his ears, trying to listen closer. holly chuckled nervously smacking his hands away.

"Well, you know we love each other right?" holly asked. Carlos nodded sitting on the couch.

"you're not breaking up with me right?" He asked. Holly giggled softly.

"No, I'm not. I just wanted to tell you, that I see you in my future." She said to him, "I see myself marrying you and having children with you. I'm not saying we have to move as quickly as Ty and Stacey, but When you're ready...I will be ready." Carlos stared at her. he wasn't sure how to take that. She was hinting that she was ready to take the next step, but yet...she wasn't. It made him nervous, but yet...It didn't. Boy, he was now very confused.

**

* * *

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	9. Blankets

****

August 11th, 2004

Holly looked at all the fabric in front of her. She was making a surprise for Ty and Stacey. Growing up in her home, her mother taught herself and Heather to quilt. She enjoyed it a lot.

"Do you like these fabrics?" Holly asked Carlos. He glanced at the table. God, he had no idea.

"Blue is cool." He told her.

"They don't know the sex though." Holly pointed out.

"You look good in blue and you're a girl." Carlos said, "Do blue and yellow." Holly smirked and nodded.

"Blue is my colour." She winked pushing the green and pink fabric off of the table. "This is going to be great."

"I've never met anyone who could quilt." Carlos said watching her lay out the squares.

"It's really easy. I'll show you sometime." Holly said. Carlos grimaced.

"That's kind of gay isn't it?" He asked.

"No." She frowned, "How sweet would it be to give your loved ones something that you made yourself? They'd treasure it. I can show you how to make one and you can make one for Kylie. I think she'd really like it." Carlos nodded slowly.

"Just don't tell anyone." He said pulling up a chair.

"I won't." Holly giggled.

Holly stood in the kitchen watching Carlos sew up a square. It was so sexy seeing him make a quilt. She walked up to him.

"Guess what?" She asked. Carlos looked up.

"What, babe?" He picked his finger, "Ow."

"You are very sexy and hot right now." Holly purred. Carlos smirked.  
"Does me sewing turn you on?" He laughed. Holly nodded.

"Very much so." She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. He could not believe it. She was a strange person.

"Well, I might be able to do something to make you even more turned on." Carlos said putting his needle down.

"What would that be?" Holly asked.

"Strip and make love to you." Carlos said. Holly's blue eyes sparkled. He loved those eyes. There was so much that he could read in them.

"I could handle that." Holly took a step closer to him.

"I thought you could." Carlos stood up and took her hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed each fingertip. Holly shivered slightly. She loved when he did that.

"Do you like quilting?" She asked him.

"I like having sex on a quilt even more." He whispered. Holly purred.

"Yeah…Me too." The couple walked to Holly's bedroom. Carlos turned and looked at her.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Holly." He said. She blushed deeply, lowering her eyes.

"How can you find me beautiful with my stringy hair and big nose and misshapen chin?" Holly asked. Carlos tilted her chin up and made her look at him.

"You have beautiful silky hair. You have the most beautiful nose and chin." He smiled. "You take my breath away." Holly's face softened as she looked at him.

"God, I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too." Carlos lowered his lips to hers. He was very comfortable with saying those three words now. Holly brought out a lot of feeling inside of his heart and finally it was okay with him.

August 25th, 2004

Sweat poured down Holly's back. It was blistering hot outside. She was going to faint in this heat. She looked at Grace as she slammed the hood of the rig.

"I can't fix it." She said looking at Holly, "Call for back up."

"That's what I said we should do." She said. Grace gave her a look. "Well, it is."  
"Well, just call for help." Grace said. Holly sighed getting on the radio.

"55-Boyd to central, we're having mechanical problems and need some help." Holly said.

"Central to 55-Boyd. Assistance will be on their way shortly."

"Just what I need, to get stuck in this part of town." Grace muttered looking around her. Yeah, there were run down buildings, but with a little paint this place would look really sweet, Holly thought.

"It's not so bad." Holly said.

"It's crack town, Levine." Grace rolled her eyes getting into the bus.  
"Why are you the way you are?" Holly asked her, leaning against the door. Grace looked at Holly.  
"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Why are you such a…b-I-t-c-h?" Holly spelled out. A small smile came across Grace's face.

"Why are you such a D-y-k-e?" She spelt out. Holly frowned deeply.

"I'm trying to be nice here, Grace." Holly said, "You'd think someone with your name would have a little more class."

"I've heard about you, Levine. I've seen you in the papers before so don't try to pull this innocent act with me." Grace said, "I know better. You can't pull the wool over my eyes."

"There…There is no wool pulling." Holly muttered, suddenly hating Grace a whole bunch.

"Right." Grace put her feet on the dashboard with a smirk. "So, you're dating Nieto…That's really weird."

"What's weird is your lack of emotional restraint." Holly snapped, "I mean…What I do in my off time is none of your business." Grace chuckled softly.

"You know what, Levine?" Grace asked her.

"What?" Holly muttered.

"I think I may like you after all." She said, "You're a little firecracker."

"Is that a good thing?" Holly asked, "Should I feel privileged that someone like you kind of likes me?" grace thought about it for a moment and nodded.

"Well, yeah." Grace said.  
"I usually like all people, grace, but forgive me if it takes awhile to warm up to you." Holly said.

"No one ever warms up to me at first." Grace smirked, "I'm used to it." Holly sighed deeply now feeling slightly bad for snapping at Grace. She looked up and saw 55-Adam pulling up.

"Thank god." She walked up to it and smiled when she saw Carlos, "Save me from her." Carlos chuckled softly.  
"Is it really that bad?" He asked. Holly nodded. "Well, you only have three more hours."

"Carlos, come on. Switch." She whispered.  
"Three more hours. You can survive. You're a strong woman." Carlos said. Holly gave him a look. Usually Holly could handle anyone, but she wasn't sure she could handle another three hours with someone like Grace.

****

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	10. The Talk

September 15th, 2004

Carlos unlocked Holly's apartment door and stuffed the key back under the mat. She had not shown up for work and he was stuck with Grace all day. He hated it when that happened. Hell, he hated Grace.

"Holly, you home?" he called out stepping into the apartment.  
"Yes." She mumbled from the bedroom. He frowned and walked back to the bedroom.

"Are you okay? I had to ride with Grace." He walked into the bedroom and saw Holly wrapped up in her blanket. Her eyes and nose was red, but the rest of her face was flushed.  
"I'm sick." She mumbled. He went to her bedside and felt her forehead. It burned his hand.

"Christ." He grabbed a thermometer off of her bedside. "You should have called me. I would have came over earlier to check on you."

"I couldn't reach the phone. Heather called." She mumbled.  
"She's probably worried sick you didn't make your breakfast date." he put the thermometer in her mouth and went to the phone. He knew how close Holly and Heather were.

"I'm calling." He said dialing her number. On the first ring, heather picked up.  
"Holly?" She asked.  
"It's Carlos." He said. Heather breathed out heavily.

"Is she alive? Did something happen?" She asked, "Are you at meadow brook?" Carlos could not help but to smile.

"Calm down, heather. Holly is just sick. It looks like she has the flu…and maybe a stomach virus." He said glancing at the stuff around her bed.

"Oh thank god." She said. "I was five minutes away from running over there."

"I knew you would." He said taking the thermometer out, "Her temp is a hundred and two. I'm here so I'll take care of her."

"Thank you so much for calling me." Heather said.  
"No problem." Carlos said hanging up, "Heather was freaking out."

"Typical." Holly muttered as Carlos went into the bathroom and wetted a cloth.  
"How did you get sick? You're a health nut." He said.  
"I don't know." She said, "I feel like shit."

"I know." Carlos walked back in and put the cloth on her forehead, "Just try to get some sleep." Holly nodded and almost immediately fell asleep.

* * *

Carlos sat on Holly's couch working on the quilt he had started a few weeks ago. If Ty could see him now, he would die. Carlos did not care though. This quilt was going to be awesome and he was going to give it to Kylie. She would look adorable wrapped up in the pink, yellow and cream-colored squares.

"Carlos?" Holly walked out into the living room. She seemed to have some colour in her cheeks.

"How are you feeling baby?" Carlos asked as he sat up. She shrugged plopping herself down on the bed.

"Weak." Carlos put his hand on her forehead.

"You don't feel hot anymore. Relax though. If you get up and run around, you'll get your fever back." Carlos said standing up.

"I have no plans on running a marathon right now." Holly mumbled. He put a blanket over Holly and put a pillow beneath her feet. She smiled at him. "Thank you for taking care of me.

"I'll always take care of you." Carlos whispered, kissing her forehead. Holly smiled. She believed him. For once in her life Holly felt comforted by a man's presence.

September 29th, 2004

For some reason it took Holly a while to get back to get full strength after her sickness. Maybe it was because she was not as young as she once was. Or maybe she just liked having Carlos take care of her.

"I got you something." Carlos said walking up the steps up the house.

"Thanks." Grace grinned from ear to ear. He narrowed his eyes.

"You're not my girlfriend." Carlos said. Grace stood up.

"I'm very thankful of that." Grace rolled her eyes. Sometimes Carlos loathed her. She was very bitchy at times. Holly stood up smoothing her uniform.

"What'd you get me?" She grinned brightly glancing at the purple bag in Carlos' hand.

"A present." he chuckled handing her the bag. Holly sat at the table and pulled out two large candles.

"Oooh. Lavender is my favourite scent." Holly said.

"I know." Carlos said sitting across from her, "I happen to like it as well." Holly pulled out some incense. She smelled the box and grinned.

"I love it." She said pulling out a box of tarot cards, "Oooh. My old set is worn out."

"That's why I picked it out." Carlos said picking up the candle and smelled it. He could imagine the candles lit by Holly's bedside as he ravaged Holly's body. Grace arched her eyebrow.

"Tarot cards and incense. How romantic." She rolled her eyes taking a bit out of her apple.

"It is." Holly beamed with pride. "Thank you so much, Carlos."

"No problem." He said, "The store I went in was pretty…you."

"Bed Knobs and Broomsticks?" She asked putting the things back into the bag.

"Yeah…" Carlos frowned, "You shop there?"

"Every couple of weeks. That's where I get those bath oils that you like." She said standing up. Grace started to laugh.

"You like bath oils?" She asked.

"I'm man enough to say yes." Carlos said.  
"Man enough?" Grace continued to laugh, "You might want to rethink that."

"Oooh. You're all man." Holly wrapped her arms around Carlos' shoulders, "I really appreciate it." She kissed his jaw.

"Good." He muttered. Holly walked up the stairs and went to her locker. Carlos was so sweet. She hung the bag up and glanced at a picture of her and Carlos she had taped to the door. They looked so good together.

"I hope he knows I was just kidding around." Grace said walking up the stairs. Holly glanced at her.

"You can be really insensitive at times you know. He did something nice for me and you just make fun of him." Holly turned around and glared at Grace, "All you ever do is rag on Carlos and I. I'm sick of it. Just because you're jealous, you shouldn't make fun of us." Grace held up her hands.

"Jealous? You've got to be frigging kidding." She laughed, "I am certainly not jealous of the two of you!"

"Bull.." Holly growled, "From the day you got to this house you've ragged on us. You don't know how we got together. You don't know what we're about."  
"Get off your high horse, Levine." Grace said, "I could careless about you guys."

"I so want to hit you right now." Holly growled.

"Trust me, Sister, you don't want to." She said taking a step back.  
"I don't hate many people, but you…You are slowly making your way onto that list." holly said.  
"Maybe that's for the best." Grace said, "I don't like you and you don't like me." Holly froze. Her face contorted in a sad frown.  
"You don't like me?" She whispered.

"Not particularly." Grace said.

"Why?" Holly asked. Grace groaned loudly.

"You're flightily. You're too earthy. You're Phoebe." Grace said, "You're too….Wiccan let me save you with my crystals. There."

"There." Holly's lip quivered, "Isn't that just great." She slammed her locker door.

"You told me to tell you." grace laughed.

"Thank you." Holly said, "I hope we don't work together anytime soon."

"I hope so too." Grace said falling down onto her bed. Holly walked downstairs. Her wonderful mood had been quickly dashed by the auburn headed bitch,

**

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	11. Halloween

* * *

October 15th, 2004

The air was crisp. You could smell autumn. The deadness of leaves, the hot apple cider, and the cinnamon. Carlos liked this time of year except for one thing: There was no skin. For some reason women started to cover up. Who cares if it's colder? Carlos wanted to see more cleavage and stomachs. There was one advantage though…he was dating someone. He could get any of that whenever he wanted…Well, when Holly allowed him to see it.

"I love this." Carlos said as he and Holly walked down the street. Holly grinned following his gaze.

"I never would have expected you to be one for colorful foliage." She told him. Carlos snickered. He surprised himself sometimes too.

"Even though we've been seeing each other for like ten months doesn't mean you know everything about me." He said, "I have things that will surprise you." She arched her eyebrow.

"Tell me one thing." She said. Uh oh, Carlos thought. He racked his brain.

"I like blue cotton candy." he said. Holly giggled as she opened the door to the coffee house.

"Well, so do I." She told him, "But you give me something better than that. I told you about Max." Carlos winced. He didn't want to hear about Max.

"Okay, fine." Carlos said walking up to the counter. "I slid down the fireman's pole and hurt my nads."

"I heard about that." Holly said leaning over, "Hi. Could I have a grande chi tea and what do you want?"

"Grande cappuccino with caramel." Carlos said.  
"Don't think you're going to ease your way by this one." Holly chuckled, "just think about it." Carlos sighed deeply sitting down at a small table. Holly grabbed their drinks and sat across from him.

"You really want to know something that I haven't told you yet?" Carlos asked. Holly nodded.  
"I've told you some major things about me." She said, "I think it's only fair."

"Fine. I regret giving Kylie away. I regret not seeing her grow and change. I miss her so much. I wish I could see her more." Carlos said, "And when I grow up, I want a large family. Four or five kids. I will…I know I will be a good father." Holly stared at him.

"Carlos, you're going to be an amazing father because of what you did for Kylie." Holly said, "You did an unselfish act knowing at that point in time you couldn't take care of her. I'm sure her family will let you see more of her. Have you asked?"

"No." He mumbled.

"If you want a relationship with Kylie, even if it is as Uncle Carlos, you should ask them." Holly said, "And about the large family thing…I want one too. Three boys and two girls."

"Three girls and two boys." Carlos corrected her. Holly giggled.

"All right." She said, "When you see those kids, whose their mother?" Carlos smirked looking at her.

"You of course." He said, "I think we'd make some gorgeous kids. Dark blond hair and large brown eyes. Nice."

"Speaking of kids, Stacey should be finding the sex out soon." Holly said sipping her tea.

"They're going to have a girl." Carlos said.

"How do you know that?" She asked him.

"I can feel it." He said, "Ty did a nice job with Kylie. I can't see him with a little boy."

"I know Stacey will love a little girl." Holly said, "What about Heather?"

"Heather…I can see with a little boy first." Carlos said.

"Me too." She said, "What about us?"

"A little boy as well for our first one." He winked. Holly's eyes sparkled with excitement. It was so awesome to hear him talk about children.

"Thank you." She said.

"For what?" Carlos frowned.

"For telling me your dream." Holly said, "Telling someone your dream takes a lot of trust in the other person."

"I do trust you." He told her, "If You're going to be in my life then you should know what I want for my future."  
"That makes me love you even more." Holly leaned over and kissed Carlos. It meant the world to him that he trusted her that much and it felt damn good knowing he wanted the same exact thing for his future as she did.

October 31st, 2004

Halloween always brought the crazy people out. Drunk Bill Clintons tend to fall down the stairs. Little Princesses tend to get hit my a car. Cowboys tend to choke. Halloween always had Carlos bring a lot more children to the hospital.

"So,' Carlos smiled at his girlfriend, "What are you going to be for Halloween? A French maid? A sexy devil?" Holly looked at him.

"A paramedic." She said.

"What?" Carlos frowned deeply.

"Halloween is a horrible tradition." Holly blatantly said buckling her seat belt "It makes fun of pagans and Wiccans. People don't understand how horrible it is."

"People give children candy. Those monsters." Carlos mocked a gasp.

"They shouldn't make fun of other people's religions." She said.  
"They aren't making fun of other people's religions." Carlos said.  
"They are too." Holly growled.

"You're not a witch." Carlos said.

"No I'm not but I'm closer to one than some people have ever seen." Holly said, "Look…Look at that woman dressed as a witch." Holly pointed to a woman dressed as a witch. "She's making fun of other people's belief." Carlos tried not to laugh as he turned the corner.

"Look." Carlos pointed to a little black girl dressed as a witch. "She is not making fun of someone's beliefs and I highly doubt that woman was either. That little girl is dressed up so she can fill her pillowcase up with candy." Holly stared at the little girl.

"She's so cute…" She said. Kindred would be about her age if she would have lived. Holly sighed deeply, "You can't change my views, Carlos."  
"And I am not looking to." He said, "But you need to see it through a child's eyes. Didn't you and Heather trick-or-treat?"

"No." She said.

"Me either. Well, some years I did." Carlos said letting a group of monsters cross the street. "There are some people out there that use this day in a negative way. I know that. But, most of us are just trying to have a day where it's okay to not be ourselves. Frankly, I need that sometimes. I don't want you to change yourself, Holly, but know if We have children together they're getting as much candy as they can." A small smile made it's way across Holly's face.

"I would let our children go out, Carlos." She said, "I wouldn't force my beliefs on them. Too many people do that." Carlos chuckled.  
"So, it won't do you any harm to dress up like a French maid." He said, "Or Lady Godiva." Holly laughed loudly.  
"I might be able to handle that…because you're the one who asked." Holly said, "It'd be nice to be someone else for a night."

"That's the whole point, baby." Carlos said.

"You are so very lucky I love you." Holly rolled her eyes.

* * *

Carlos thought it was a good feat to get Holly to dress up. He himself decided to dress up like a vampire. Holly gave him a little speech about that one, but then shrugged it off.

"Carlos, you're going to get It." Holly muttered from inside her bedroom.  
"Come out. Let me see you." he said. Holly opened the door and stepped out. Carlos' heart stopped, "Holy Christ." his eyes traveled up her legs that were covered in fishnet stockings. Her skirt stopped a little below the top of her thighs. His eyes traveled up to her plunging necklace and saw cleavage he had never seen on her before. God, He thought, I love push up bras. Her make up was done perfectly and her blond hair was curled.

"Don't look at me like that." She said crossing her arms.

"You look…Amazing, Holly." Carlos said, "Everyone is going to be jealous." Holly dropped her arms down.  
"I really look fine?" She asked. Carlos stepped up to her and took her hands.

"You look terrific." Carlos kissed her softly. Now they'd be lucky to leave the apartment. He was very turned on by seeing her dressed like this. Maybe she'd dress up every night.

**

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	12. Dinner

November 14th, 2004

Holly watched the bellies swell around her. It was amazing to see Stacey and Heather's bodies change. She envied it. She knew her time would come again someday.

"I am such a cow." Stacey said as the three women walked down the street. Heather chuckled.

"So am I." She said. Holly rubbed her stomach with a bright grin.

"Ahhhh….Size six." She said with a chuckle. The pregnant women looked at her. "Sorry. I couldn't help it. To lighten to mood, tell me the names you have picked out." They walked into Sears. Holly grabbed a cart.

"Well," Stacey grinned. "Ty and I have been discussing this. We've narrowed it down to two names Reese Mitchell and Avery Charles."

"How beautiful." Heather said, "I'd have a hard time choosing between them too."

"Now tell Aunt Holly what her niece is going to be called." Holly said pushing the cart towards the baby department.

"Well Aunt Holly," Heather said giving Stacey a look, "Shaelyn Holly." Holly stopped and looked at her sister.  
"Holly?" She asked. Heather nodded.

"Of course I'm going to use your name." She said, "you're my best friend. I'd need to honour you somehow.

"That means the world to me." Holly said.

"Charles and Carlos are close." Stacey said. Holly laughed.

"Yeah they are." She stepped into the department and looked around. She sighed deeply, "I should have kept Kindred's things to give you."

"You had to get rid of them so you could move on." Heather said rubbing her sister's back, "You don't have to shop with us. You can go find something slutty to wear." Holly chuckled.

"I don't do slutty." She said.  
"Ty showed me pictures from Halloween." Stacey smirked.

"I want to baby shop." Holly growled grabbing a pink dress and throwing it into the cart. Heather picked it up and laughed.  
"Too big." She said hanging it back up.

"Who knows, maybe I'll be needing a trip to the baby department soon." Holly said, "Carlos has been talking about having children more and more."

"Oh that'd be wonderful." Heather said, "but just make sure you're ready for it. Mentally."

"Mentally." Holly rolled her eyes looking through a rack of little boy rompers. "I didn't give away all of Kin's things I'll have you know."

"You told me that you did." Heather said.  
"Well, I lied." She said picking up a blue romper with yellow stars on it. "I kept the white dress that you knitted for her and the yellow blanket mama knitted for her." Heather stared at her sister, "I plan on using the blanket when I have more kids."

"Fine." Heather said glancing at Stacey, "What have you got there?"

"Overalls. Babies look really cute in jeans." She said putting it in the cart. Holly stood back and watched the pregnant women laugh as they threw things in the cart. Jealousy was over taking Holly's body. Stacey and heather seemed so happy with their upcoming arrivals. Holly wished she could get more into it.

November 28th, 2004

In a month Holly would turn twenty-eight. Carlos had a big present planned for her. It was going to sparkly and slide around her wrist. He hoped Holly would like it. She usually wasn't one to adore material things, but he caught her looking at it when they were at the mall. Her eyes sparkled as big as the diamonds. Sure it was expensive, but Holly was worth it.

"I hate the cold." Ty muttered as he sat on top of his car. Carlos looked around.

"Snow isn't the best. I'll agree." he said, "I get to see Kylie for her birthday." Ty smiled.

"That's great." He said, "What are you getting her?"  
"Well, she'll be four. I'm going to get her a nice dress and shoes to start off with and some girly make-up crap." Carlos said, "Holly said little girls like things like that."

"They do." Ty said, "But thankfully I'm getting a boy."

"Boys are cool." Carlos nodded. "I'm glad I got Kylie though."

"She's a wonderful girl." Ty said as Stacey and Holly came out. "Finally."

"It's hard finding something I feel good in." Stacey said walking to the car. Holly rolled her eyes.

"I'll have you know that I've been ready for ten minutes." She said getting into the backseat of the car. The two couples were going to have dinner together. It was nice having friends who were couples.

"Well, I'm proud of you." Carlos said climbing into the backseat with his girlfriend. She smiled snuggling into him.

"I'm starved." Stacey said.

"you always are." Ty winked, rubbing her leg.

"Avery is the one who is making me hungry." Stacey said, "Blame your son."

"When I was pregnant with Kin, I probably ate five meals a day." Holly chuckled, "I craved dirt at one time."

"Dirt?" Carlos frowned, "That's disgusting."

"I've heard a few pregnant women say that." Stacey said, "There's something in the dirt that they crave. It's not the dirt itself."

"Well…it's still disgusting." Carlos said. Holly smacked his chest.

"I'm over that craving." She said.

"Thank god." Ty said, "Cause we're here." Stacey and Holly grinned as they pulled up to the Japanese Restraunt.

"Have you eaten here before?" Carlos asked.

"yeah. It's great. You'll like it." Holly said unbuckling, "You don't' have to eat the squid if you don't want to."

"Squid?" Carlos grimaced as they all got out of the car. He would much rather eat dirt. Holly giggled. She knew he'd have that reaction. The couples walked into the restraunt. The smell hit Carlos. He wasn't sure what it was. It smelled like green peppers and…some kind of spice.

"Hi. Could we have four please?" Holly smiled.

"Come right this way." The hostess lead them to a small booth. Stacey was thankful she didn't have to sit on the floor or anything like that. Holly slid into the booth and Carlos slid next to her.

"I love this place." Holly said picking up the menu. "I don't even know why I look at the menu anymore. I always get the same exact thing."

"How often do you come here?" Carlos frowned.

"Once a week at least." She said, "Tofu and rice with extra vegetables."

"I didn't know that." Carlos said, "I'm missing your eating habits."

"you don't live with me twenty-four seven so of course you are going to." Holly said waving the waiter over.

"Well, that sucks." Carlos muttered as they all ordered. Holly looked at him and smiled.

"It'll get better, I swear." She whispered, leaning over and kissed him He sighed deeply. The only way it'd get better was if he moved in with her and he certainly wasn't ready for that step.

**

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	13. Family

****

December 13th, 2004

Carlos stared at the fish swimming around in the tank. There had to be around thirty goldfish in there. He shook his head glancing at Holly who was finishing the edging to the quilt she was making for Stacey.

"Why do you have so many fish?" Carlos asked, "There seems to be another one in there every time I look."

"I buy one every week." Holly smirked, "I need to get a new tank. I don't want them to feel cramped."

"Okay…" He chuckled sitting down next to her. "Bird would probably eat them all." Holly gave him a look.

"I know." She said, "What do you want for Christmas?"

"You in a big red bow." Carlos said sitting back on the couch. "What do you want?"  
"A kitten." She grinned.

"I'm allergic." Carlos said watching the smile fall from her face, "What about a turtle? Turtles are cute." Holly nodded.  
"Yeah. Turtles are very cute." She said plopping down next to Carlos, "When are you going to give kylie her birthday and Christmas presents?" He shrugged.  
"When are you ready to go. I want you to meet her." He said. Holly looked at her watched and then to him.

"How about today? I'm dying to meet her." Holly said. Carlos stared at Holly. She had a giant smile upon her face. It felt so good, so already cared so much about Kylie. "Our birthdays are so close. You better give us tons of presents."

"I will. Let me call the Kenneies and see if now is okay for them." He said picking up the phone.

"Cool beans." Holly said. Carlos dialed the phone and listened to it ring.

"Oh, hey. It's Carlos…Fine thanks." Carlos smiled, "Well, I have a pile of Christmas and birthday presents for Kylie…I would like her to meet my girlfriend…If you have time…Thanks…Bye."

"Well?" Holly asked.

"Get your jacket on." Carlos said, "She said she'd have Kylie dressed and we could take her out for lunch."

"Excellent." Holly jumped up. She couldn't wait to see the child.

Carlos knocked on the front door and glanced at Holly. She looked so nervous. He couldn't help but to smile as Mrs. Kenney opened the door.

"She's all ready and excited." She smiled.

"Great. Oh, this is my girlfriend, Holly." Carlos nodded towards Holly. Kylie ran into the room.

"Hi Carlos!" She squealed. Carlos scooped her up and hugged her tightly.

"Hi princess." Carlos hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. Holly stared at the two of them. It was so sweet seeing the two of them. Kylie looked at the bags of presents.

"Whats dat?" She asked.

"That's for your birthday and for your Christmas. I'll give these to your mom and she'll give them to you later." Carlos said handing the bags to Kylie's adoptive mother.

"Oh man…" Kylie groaned. Carlos carried his daughter over to Holly.

"This is my girlfriend, Holly. She's really cool and you'll like her." Carlos said.

"Hi. My birthday is close to yours." Holly said, "How old are you going to be?" Kylie held up four fingers, "Wow. Four is old." Carlos chuckled.  
"Holly and I are going to take you out for lunch." Carlos said. Kylie's face brightened up and looked at her mother.

"I'm not going." She chuckled, "Just the three of you. Call us if you're going to be late, Carlos."

"I'll make him." Holly chuckled. Carlos put Kylie down and grabbed her jacket off of the living room chair. It was rare he was allowed to take Kylie out without one of the Kennies right next to him. This was a real treat.

"We going to MacDonald's?" Kylie asked.

"If that's where you want to go princess." Carlos said. Kylie nodded, "Then we'll go there." He zipped up the purple jacket and stood up, "Tell Mommy bye."

"Bye Mommy." Kylie said. Holly took Kylie's other hand and the three of them walked down the stairs. Carlos looked so thrilled to be here with his daughter. It made Holly feel so good. If they never had a child together, Holly would be at peace knowing how devoted he was to this daughter.

December 27th, 2004

Okay, so this had been the best birthday and best Christmas Holly had every experienced. Usually when ones birthday is on Christmas, they get jipped out on presents, but not when they're dating Carlos. He sure made up for a double whammy. Holly was hoping for an engagement ring, but well, there was none.

For her birthday Carlos got her this gorgeous silver bracelet that had two diamond pendants on it. How did he know she had been looking at that for weeks in the store? And for Christmas Carlos got her a stuffed Dog (Which she loved as much as the bracelet) and a squishy pillow. He said they were all the rage.

"It's so stupid they rarely let me and Carlos ride together." Holly said. Grace looked at her.

"I know you hate me, but get over it." She said. Holly smirked.

"I am over it. I don't hate you anymore." She said, "I'm too happy to hate. Hate isn't really in my nature."

"I can't do happy today." Grace said, "I worry when it gets this cold. People with no homes could be frozen to death."

"We do get a lot of calls for Bumsicles." Holly said staring at the window. "We don't talk much. Are you still seeing Finney?"

"Seeing? No. Talking to? Yes." A smile spread across Grace's face. Okay, so there was some happy in Grace's life, Holly thought. "That bracelet…A gift from Carlos?" Holly smiled as she stroked the bracelet.

"Beautiful huh?" Holly asked.

"Enough to make me jealous." Grace said, "I wouldn't mind a diamond present."

"It's nice." Holly said. She had the right to gloat. "You and Brendan are sweet together. I can see you two getting really serious." Grace shivered.

"He wants that, but I'm not ready. I have baggage." She said.

"Don't we all?" Holly asked.

"You don't seem to be the type to have baggage." Grace said to her. Holly chuckled. She had no idea who she was talking to. Holly had a lot of secrets. "Your sister is pregnant right?"

"Yup." Holly beamed with happiness. "She's due to give birth in March,"

"Wow. that's coming up quick." Grace said.  
"Shaelyn Holly." Holly told her, "Named after her wonderful aunt."

"Of course." Grace looked at Holly and smiled, "See? We can have a civil conversation without biting each other's heads off."

"It's nice to know that huh?" She asked.

"Definitely." Grace smiled as a call came over the radio.

"55-Adam, report to Forest and main for a LOL." Holly reached over and grabbed the radio.

"55-Adam to central were on our way." She said as she turned the sirens on. "Let the fun begin."

"At least it's not a bumsicle." Grace said. Holly chuckled. It really was nice that Her and Grace weren't screaming at each other. She didn't have too many girl friends so it was a nice change of pace. Hopefully they could keep this up.

****

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	14. VDay

****

February 1st, 2005

Okay, Holly hated it when she was feeling under the weather. It made her cranky and she wasn't one to become cranky. People soon learned to leave her alone when she was feeling like this.

"She's like Linda Blaire or something." DK said. The other began to laugh. Carlos shot him a look.

"At least I have a girlfriend unlike someone I know." He said

"I have girlfriend…or two." DK smiled. All the men began to cheer.

"Excuse me for liking one girl at a time…for a change." Carlos returned DK's smile. He liked screwing around with the guys.

"Nieto, let' get going." Grace nodded at him. Carlos frowned.

"I'm riding with Holly today." He said.

"She's staying back to rest for an hour. You're stuck with me." Grace said. Carlos sighed and got up.

"Hold on a minute. Let me check on her for a second." He walked up the stairs and saw that Holly was laying in her bed, "You okay?"

"Just a little dizzy. I don't think I ate enough this morning." Holly opened her eyes and looked at him. "I'm going to take the next shift with Hanson. Hope you're not mad."

"Nope." Carlos smiled, "Gives me time to buy your valentine's gift."

"Oh you better." She smiled up at him. Carlos leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Call me on the radio if you manage to get on with Hanson." He said before he walked downstairs. "Foster, let's go." grace rolled her eyes and trotted down the stairs.

"how is she feeling?" Grace asked. Carlos shrugged.

"Like crap. She looks pale. Well more pale than usual." Carlos climbed into the bus. He sighed and glanced at Grace, "What has been the best valentine's gift you've ever gotten?" Grace chuckled as she thought back through her dates.

"I think the best I've ever received was a pint of Ben and Jerry's." She said. Carlos growled.

"I'm serious." He said to her.

"So am I." Grace smirked, "I haven't had the best luck when it comes to the boyfriend department. When I did have a boyfriend, we never made it to Valentine's Day."

"Oh." Carlos mumbled. "So much for that idea." Grace looked at Carlos. She could tell this was probably his first real Valentine's Day with a Serious girlfriend.

"Listen, Carlos, she'll love whatever you get her." Grace told him, "Even a pint of Ben and Jerry's." Carlos was beginning to think that wasn't a bad idea.

Carlos leaned over the admit desk staring at the forms. He hated these things.

"55-Tommy to 55-Boyd." Holly's voice came over the radio. Carlos' face immediately brightened up. He grabbed his radio.

"55-Boyd to 55-Tommy." Carlos said, "Feeling better?"

"Yeah I am." Holly said, "It's passed and I'm out with Hanson."

"Tell him if he doesn't take it easy on your today he will have to answer to me." Carlos said as Grace motioned for him to hurry up.

"He heard that and said he'll be a gentleman." Holly said. "I love you, Carlos." Carlos blushed. Everyone on that radio could hear her, but hell, he was man enough to take all the ribbing.

"I love you too. Over and out." He chuckled. Grace rolled her eyes. She hated when he said over and out. Carlos grinned brightly as he walked to the bus. Every day he got more and more happy. Maybe someday he'd take the plunge and propose to her….Maybe.

February 14th, 2005

Today was a big deal for Carlos. It was Valentine's Day and his and Holly's first anniversary. It was a big deal for him. This had been the longest relationship he'd ever been in. he loved it. Tonight he was having a romantic dinner at her apartment. He was even wearing a suit. He knocked on Holly's door.

"Coming." Holly opened the door. Carlos grinned brightly. God, she was gorgeous. She was wearing a green clingy dress and the chandelier earrings he had bought for her the other week.

"You look gorgeous." he said.

"You don't look half bad yourself." Holly said kissing him gently. Carlos caressed her hip.

"Something smells delicious." Carlos said as he smelled the air.

"It should." Holly said, "Homemade pasta and sauce." Carlos smiled as he walked into the kitchen. Candles were lit on the table.

"I love your homemade pasta." Carlos said grabbing a couple of wine glasses, "Red wine?"

"No wine. I'm fine." Holly said, "I've made myself some tea."

"Of course you did." He said, "Music?"

"Help yourself." Holly said as she drained the pasta. Carlos went over to the stereo. "This is a lot better than our first valentine's."

"I have a feeling it'll end the same way though." Carlos chuckled as soft music began to play through the apartment.

"I hope so." Holly said. Carlos sat at the table and she put a plate in front of him.

"Wow. Thank you for cooking this." Carlos said. She said down with a smaller plate.

"I love cooking." Holly said. They stared at each other as they began to eat.

"I want to talk to you about something." Carlos said. Holly arched her eyebrow.

"Oh?" She asked.

"What we have…It's a serious relationship and I'd like to take it to the next level." Carlos said as Holly smiled, "I would like to move in with you." She nodded.  
"I think that would be best and go with my gift for you." Holly said.

"What's my gift?" Carlos asked.

"I'm not telling you." Holly laughed.

"Gee Thanks." Carlos shoveled more pasta into his mouth. "Maybe I won't give you my gift." Holly began to pout.

"I didn't know that you had a mean soul." She winked.

"Only when provoked." Carlos said pulling out a small box, "here you go."

"Thank you." Holly took the box and opened it up. "A charm bracelet." She grinned brightly as she took it out. There was a charm dangling off of it. It was a EDNY medallion.

"Do you like it?" Carlos asked.

"I absolutely love it." She held it out to him. He gently wrapped it around her wrist. Carlos latched it and caressed her pulse point on her wrist.

"It looked beautiful on you." Carlos said.

"Thank you so much." Holly said.

"mine?" Carlos asked. Holly bit her lip.

"Are you sure you want it?" She asked. Carlos laughed.

"Of course. I gave you yours." he said. Holly sat there picking at her pasta. "Come on." She looked at him.

"Well, Carlos, your gift isn't physical right now. Well it is, but not yet…" She laughed nervously, "Carlos, I'm pregnant." He stared at her. Surely he did hear her right.

"Huh?" He croaked out.

"That's why I said moving in with me was a good idea." Holly said, "I'm sensing a bad vibe."

"To say the least." Carlos stood up. All he could think about was the day Vangie told him about Kylie. Holly closed her eyes her eyes for a moment.

"If you don't want to move in with me now, that's fine...It's just, I guess I read you wrong." Holly said stepping away from the table.

"You didn't read me wrong." Carlos looked at her, "I still want to move in."

"I just…I thought you'd…" Holly shook her head, "be happy. Not have negative vibes…That's why I told you today. I just…I'm sorry." Carlos looked at her.

"I'm not mad, Holly." Carlos said. He took her hand and pulled her close to him. "You just…you…took me off guard."

"We're having a baby, Carlos." Holly smiled, "I'm so happy about it. I hope someday you'll be happy too." Carlos sighed pushing her hair off of her face.

"Let it sink in and I will be. I missed out on Kylie's development and I won't let that happen again." Carlos said. Holly grinned brightly and cuddled into him. On the outside, Carlos was being supportive, but on the inside, he was screaming with fear.

****

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	15. 2 little bundles

February 28th, 2005

Week 8

Ty stared at Carlos as he packed up the last of his things. He couldn't believe Carlos was moving out. He knew the day would come, but…He just couldn't believe it was today.

"Name the baby After me." Ty said. Carlos chuckled.  
"That's Holly's area." He said, "I just sign the birth certificate."

"That could get you in trouble." Ty said, "The baby could wind up being Crystal…or Sunbeam."

"Sunbeam Nieto has a certain ring to it." Carlos said.  
"Yeah a ring of shit." Ty said as he shook his head, "I can't believe you're having a baby."

"Me either." Carlos admitted. "But I can be a good dad this time."

"You were a good dad with Kylie, Carlos." Ty said, "You gave her exactly what she needed."

"I know." He said softly, "Thank you for everything."

"Oh God. Don't start getting all mushy with me." Ty said, "Go be a family man."

"That scares the shit out of me." Carlos said leaning against the car, "When your baby comes we'll be able to have play dates."

"That sounds thrilling." Ty said. Carlos got into the car and drove off. Ty watched Carlos leave. He was going on to his next step of his life. He couldn't get cold feet now.

* * *

Holly was so happy. Her man was moving in with her and they were having a baby. She hoped she wouldn't lose this baby. There would always be that fear and she knew it.

"your meditation room will have to be the nursery." Carlos said walking down the hallway.

"I know." She said as she got off of the floor, "It's all right. I can meditated on the fire escape."

"Kay…" Carlos sat on the couch looking around the living room. He lived here but it still seemed to be 100 Holly. The room was filled with Candles, incense, crystals, and other little weird things.

"What are you thinking about?" Holly sat on the couch tucking her feet underneath her.

"Life…The baby…Us…You know the fun stuff." Carlos said.  
"The scary and stressful stuff." Holly said. Carlos looked at her.

"You feel that too?" He asked.

"Of course." Holly chuckled, "But I need to think about the baby's health. I can't let stress rule my life. That's why I meditate. You should try it." Carlos laughed loudly.

"That's not for me." He said.

"You've never even tried it." Holly said "You need to at least try it before you start judging it."

"As long as I don't have to do yoga." Carlos grimaced.  
"A lot of men do yoga." Holly told him.

"Gay men." Carlos laughed. Holly groaned.

"Boscorelli." She said. Carlos' laughter stopped. "He was in one of my classes awhile back."

"Boscorelli took yoga?" Carlos asked. Holly laughed.

"Don't mock it until you've tried it." She said laying on Carlos' lap. He ran his fingers through her blond hair.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"Oh. Just wonderful." Holly smiled. "The morning sickness hasn't been too bad."

"Good. Barfing is never good." Carlos chuckled quietly.

"I'm a lot more in tune with my body this time around." She said putting Carlos hand on her stomach. He sighed softly, "We've created a life, Carlos. The powers that be know what they're doing."

"It was fate that you came to the 55." he said. Holy grinned at him. It was certainly fate that brought them together. Each of them lost a child in a way, but now their relationship was growing closer because of a new child. Maybe this time things would be all right.

March 14th, 2005

Week 10

Carlos slept so much better when he had his arms wrapped around Holly. She fit perfectly. Her warmth lulled him to a deep sleep. If it wasn't for a god damn telephone, he would have slept even more peacefully. Carlos rolled over and picked up the phone.

"This better be good." He mumbled.

"Man, it's me." Ty said. He sounded freaked out.

"What's wrong?" Carlos sat up. Holly rolled over and looked at him.

"It's time." Ty said, "Stacey is having the baby."

"She's what?" Carlos began to grin.  
"Her water broke a few hours ago. It's almost time." Ty said, "I need you. Please can you come?"

"Of course." Carlos said getting out of bed, "Holly and I will be there in fifteen minutes."

"Be where at three o'clock in the morning?" Holly frowned deeply. She liked her sleep. Carlos hung up the phone and grinned at his girlfriend.

"Looks like Ty is becoming a daddy." He said. Holly squealed with excitement.

"That's wonderful!" She jumped out of bed. She had been waiting for this moment for nine months now. It took them a full ten minutes to get dressed and get to the hospital. If they made this time when Holly's water broke they'd be in business. Carlos took Holly's hand as they rushed down the hallway of the Maternity floor. Ty stepped out of Stacey's room.

"She's like possessed or something." Ty said. Holly chuckled.

"She's having a baby." She said walking into the room, "Hey there."

"Hey…" Stacey mumbled.

"How far are you?" Holly asked pulling a chair up next to her friend.

"Eight centimeters." Stacey said. Holly dabbed some sweat off of her forehead, "I don know how people have seven kids. This is so much work all ready and I haven't started to push."

"It's not supposed to be easy." Holly said.

"Ty is freaking out." Stacey whispered.  
"That's normal." Holly chuckled, "I know Carlos will be freaking out."

"We've changed his name." Stacey told her, "We kept Avery but changed his middle name to Tyrone."

"Avery Tyrone Davis. I love it." Holly said. Stacey began to groan. Holly took her hand, "Breath, Stace."

"I…Am." Stacey grunted. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to concentrate on the contraction. Holly counted through the contraction and then Stacey relaxed. "That sucks."

"Can I come in?" Heather knocked on the door.  
"What are you doing here?" Holly chuckled.

"My water broke." Heather smiled. Stacy began to chuckle.  
"You've got to be kidding me." She said.

"I'm not. I'm actually right next door." Heather said. Holly jumped up and embraced her sister.

"I'm going to be an aunt." This was an amazing day. Heather pulled away.

"I'll still be awhile yet." Heather said, "You be with Stacey and see this rugrat be born. Then come on over to my room."

"Oh I will." Holly said.

* * *

Holly walked into heather's room. They could hear Stacey's screams seeping through the walls. Holly walked over to her sister and placed a pink crystal on her stomach.

"Maybe this will help your contractions." Holly said.

"I know it will." Heather said. She took in a deep breath.

"This is amazing." Jeffery whispered. Carlos stood in the doorway watching Stacey's door. There was now silence in Stacey's room for a moment and then Carlos heard Ty.

"It's a boy!" He yelled, "It's a boy!" Carlos laughed.  
"Avery is here." He said. Ty bolted out of the room and grabbed Carlos in a hug.  
"It's a boy!" He yelled.

"You knew he would be." Carlos said.  
"he's so…Oh god…Awesome." Ty ran back into the room. Holly chuckled. Tears in her eyes. She loved moments like this. Heather took in a deep breath.

"Why don't you guys go get some breakfast?" Heather suggested, "I still have five centimeters to go. I have a couple of hours I'm sure." Holly nodded and stood up.

"I could go for some food." She said looking at Carlos, "How about you?" He seemed to have a permanent smile upon his face.

"Yeah. I'm starved." Holly got up and took his hand. She gave a wink back to Heather and left with Carlos. "Do you think I'll act like that when our baby is born?"

"Oh probably." Holly grinned, "But it's sweet. Having a baby in your arms. It'll be….I don't think words can describe it."

"I think yore right." Carlos said as they stepped into the elevator. He watched as tears filled Holly's eyes.

"I'm so happy, Carlos." She said, "Life can't get any better than this. I swear it cant. Stacey and Heather are having babies today and soon we'll be having one. I'm so happy."

"I'm happy too, Mini Buddha." Carlos said. Holly smacked his chest.

"I'm no Buddha yet." She told him.

"Soon enough you'll be." He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, "I love you."

* * *

Avery was one gorgeous little boy. He had a single wisp of dark curly hair on the top of his head. He had Stacey's eyes and nose, but the rest was Ty. It made Holly's heart soar.

"I love babies." Holly sighed as she stared at Avery through the nursery window.

"Me too. Come on. Let's see how Heather is doing with the pushing." Carlos lead her back down the hallway. Heather wasn't as loud as Stacey was, but they could still hear her. Holly's heart beat loudly in her chest.

"Come on, Heather." She whispered. Then she heard a baby's cry emerge from the room. Jeffery and Heather were crying loudly. Holly looked at Carlos and hugged him. It was a full fifteen minutes before the door opened up.

"Come in, Guys." Jeffery waved them in. Holly rushed to her sisters side. The baby was even more gorgeous than Avery.

"Shaelyn, Say hi to Aunt Holly." Heather whispered handing the baby over to her sister.

"Hi." Holly cradled her niece. "God Heather, She definitely looks like a Benjamin."

"Scary huh?" Heather chuckled. Holly stroked Shaelyn's cheek. Carlos watched the pure bliss that was on Holly's face as she held the baby. That was how it was going to be when their baby was placed in their arms magnified by ten, he concluded. At that moment, he couldn't wait to become a father again.

If you would like an update on my fics or just general discussion, then join my e-mail list. Just e-mail me to join.


	16. Everyone Poops

****

March 28th, 2005

Week 12

Carlos sat in bed staring at Holly as she slept. She looked so at peace and comfortable. His eyes trailed down to her stomach. The bump that was developing was so perfect. If she were not naked, you wouldn't have been able to tell she was pregnant, but with out her clothes…God gorgeous. Carlos reached down and touched her stomach.

"Hello in there. This is your daddy." His thumb caressed the tiny bump. He imagined what it would feel like to feel the baby kick against his hand. "You're in your mom's stomach. She'll take really good care of you. When you're out here, We'll both take care of you. Baby, you are so wanted. Please stay safe."

"Who are you talking to?" Holly smiled opening her eyes.

"The baby." Carlos muttered.

"Talk to the baby all you want. It hears you." She said.

"Does it?" Carlos asked. She chuckled as she ran her hand through his hair.

"Yes. Talk and sing to the baby through out the pregnancy and he or she will respond to you when they come out." She smiled as she watched his face.

"So I should read to the baby every night." He said. Holly nodded.

"Yes." She slid out of the bed, "Why don't you get dressed? We'll head on over to the bookstore since there's a few things that I need to get there anyway. You can pick out a few books to read to the baby." Carlos nodded.  
"That sounds like a plan." he said.

Carlos stared at the children's book section. There were hundreds of books to choose from. He wasn't sure which one to choose.

"Holly, there's one called everyone poops." He said. She chuckled bringing a stack of books over.

"That's a good one." She said holding up a Book, "Pregnancy for Daddies. You might like this."

"Put it in the basket. I need all the help I can get." He said, "How about a book of nursery rhymes?"

"There you go." Holly smiled.

"I'm starting to get the hang of this." Carlos said looking through a few more books. "Good night Moon….I remember this book."

"You read it?" She asked.

"Hence why I remembered it." he chuckled picking it up. Holly smiled as she looked at the books they had picked out.

"Can you believe we're here, Carlos?" Holly asked.

"What? At the book store?" Carlos asked, "I may not read a lot but I do enjoy a good novel every now and then." Holly laughed loudly.

"No…I mean that we're having a baby. We're in a serious relationship." Holly said. Carlos smiled, "I never thought I'd be able to do this."

"Me either." Carlos put his hand on her stomach, "It may be scary but I'm very thankful that I get to do this." Man, when he said things like that she wanted to jump him.

"Lets pay for these books and have lunch." Holly suggested.

"That sounds like a plan again." Carlos said, "I want to get this book first." he grabbed the everyone poops book.

"Carlos…."She chuckled.

"What? The baby needs to know about this book." he said going to the register.

"It's your money." Holly said. Carlos had a permanent smile on his face. It felt really good to be buying his child books. He could already tell this child was going to be spoiled.

April 11th, 2005

The yoga and meditation really helped Holly so much already in this pregnancy. The stress in her life seemed to be gone. For Carlos though, the stress was high. He knew how hard a baby was and how sick they could get.

"Has Joey ever been very sick?" Carlos glanced at Kim as he pulled up to a red light.

"Thankfully no." Kim said, "The worse that has happened was broken bones."

"That's good…" Carlos said.

"Why?" Kim asked, "Are you worried about the baby?" Carlos nodded.

"Naturally." he said.

"The chances of the baby getting sick too are slim." Kim said, "Holly is a very healthy person. The baby will be utterly perfect."

"I haven't asked if any sicknesses run in her family." Carlos said.

"Well, maybe you should." Kim said, "When I got pregnant with Joey, I researched Jimmy's family and mine to be aware of any danger."

"I don't know my family's medical history." Carlos said.

"It's not like it's a secret anymore." Kim said. Carlos nodded. He sometimes forgot he had a brother.

"You I know." Carlos said, "I'll ask Holly when we get back."

There was not a lot to do in the house anymore. Holly had cleaned it from top to bottom and had even cooked some lunch for a few of the firefighters. Now she sat in one of the barcaloungers. Waiting for someone to bring soot in so she could clean it all up. It was boring now that Kim kept her off of the bus.

"Any food left?" Carlos asked climbing the stairs.

"Walsh ate it all." Holly chuckled as she turned around, "Kim, Can I pick up a few shifts?"

"No. I want you and the baby here for now. I need someone to clean the house and answer the phones." Kim told her.

"I'm a good paramedic." Holly said as Carlos sat in the chair next to her.

"You're a wonderful paramedic, but the answer is still no." Kim climbed the stairs to the bunks.

"Oh poo." Holly groaned.

"You have such a mouth." Carlos said. Holly snickered. "Listen, I need to ask you does mental illness, deafness, cancer, or any other serious illness run in your family?" Carlos asked her as he reached out and touched her stomach.

"Yes." Holly said. Carlos looked at her.

"Yes to which one?" he asked.

"The mental illness one." Holly said.  
"Are you serious?" Carlos asked forgetting where his girlfriend was a few years ago.

"As serious as a heart attack." Holly chuckled.

"Do those run in your family?" Carlos asked. Holly laughed.

"No you nut ball." She said.

"I just want to make sure the baby and our future children are going to be okay." He said. Holly caressed his hand.

"God, Buddha, or whatever is going to make sure this baby is going to stay perfect forever." Holly said. Carlos smiled softly as he kissed her. God, he hoped she was right. He could not beat to have another sick child.

****

If you would like an update on my fics or just general discussion, then join my e-mail list. Just e-mail me to join.


	17. It's a

**April 25th, 2005**

**Week 16**

**Holly loved being an aunt. She loved being pregnant. For once, Holly's life was perfect. Carlos was the perfect man. They had the perfect relationship. **

**"Can you massage my back?" Holly asked as she pinned her hair up. Heather laughed as she handed Shaelyn to Holly.**

**"I don't miss that." She said sitting behind her sister. Holly groaned as she began to massage her back.**

**"I didn't miss this part either." She said rubbing her stomach, "You have good hands." Heather began to laugh.**

**"Jeffery tells me that a lot." She said. Holly closed her eyes as she heard Shaelyn begin to cry from her bedroom. Heather moved off of the couch and went to go get her daughter.**

**"I still can't believe this is all happening." Holly said.**

**"What?" heather walked back into the living room nursing the sweet baby.**

**"I can't believe me and Carlos live together and are having a baby." She grinned, "Did you think I'd ever get here?"**

**"Of course." Heather said, "I always knew you deserved the good life."**

**"I wonder what my life would be like if Kindred had lived." Holly put her hand on her stomach. It was hard thinking about the daughter to had lost.**

**"I think…And don't hate me for saying this." Heather sat on the couch nursing the baby, "I think the death of Kindred made you go on the right path towards true happiness. If she hadn't died, I'm sure shit face would still be alive. Mommy didn't say shit face."**

**"I don't hate you for saying that." Holly smiled weakly, "I just think about how old Kindred would be now. She'd be starting school. I bet she'd have curly blond hair like Max and my eyes."**

**"I'm sure you're right, Holly. But just think about the baby you're carrying." Heather said, "It's going to be so gorgeous with a beautiful skin color and maybe it'll have wavy brown hair and huge brown eyes. He or she will love you so much and wait until they wrap their hand around your finger for the very first time. It's so powerful. This baby is going to be so loved by both you and Carlos." Holly's lips quivered, "Have you thought of a name?"**

**"S-Something strong." She whispered.**

**"Something strong and it'll be perfect." Heather said. Holly began to cry.**

**"I j-just want Kindred back." She said. Heather unhooked Shaelyn and placed her in her carrier. She gathered her sister in her arms and Holly sobbed into her shoulder.**

**"It's just your hormones. We all miss Kindred but we're all excited to see this new baby." Heather said rubbing her sister's back knowing Holly would be fine.**

**"So am I." Holly said.**

**"When do you find the sex out?" Heather asked.**

**"In a couple of weeks." Holly pulled away wiping her eyes. "I cant wait for Shae and the baby to grow up together."**

**"And Avery." Heather reminded her.**

**"The three of them are going to be great together. If this one is a girl, Avery is going to have to choose between two gorgeous girls to date." Holly said. Heather laughed picking Shae up again.**

**"Oh Shae isn't dating…ever." heather said. Holly laughed. Once she had this baby, she knew her and her sisters relationship would be on a different level and frankly, Holly couldn't wait.**

**May 9th, 2005**

**Week 18**

**Both of them were nervous. This was a big appointment. They both desperately hoped the baby would be good and they could find out the sex. Holly looked at Carlos as they waited in the waiting room.**

**"If it's a boy, I'd like the middle name to be Benjamin." Holly said. Carlos smiled.**

**"Of course. I was thinking about using that too." he said.**

**"Good." holly said looking at all the other pregnant women waiting. The doctor opened up the door.**

**"Holly Levine?" he asked. Holly and Carlos both stood up with grins on their faces.**

**"Hi, Dr. White." She said shaking his hand.**

**"Hello." he smiled showing them into the office. "How are you doing?"**

**"Oh I feel just fine. My emotions are running wild, but that's all right." Holly said sliding her shoes off, "Do you want to weigh me?"**

**"Yes." Dr White said pulling out her file, "Okay…..You've gained…ten pounds with your pregnancy. That's good."**

**"Thanks." Holly grinned at Carlos.**

**"We're so excited." Carlos said, "I want to know what we're having." Dr. White chuckled.**

**"Some babies are stubborn." He informed him.**

**"I know, but We just want to give it a try." Carlos said.**

**"By all means then." Dr White nodded towards the table. "Why don't you get up on there and we can get this started?"**

**"Okay." Holly bounced up onto the table.**

**"This is it." Carlos took her hand. Dr. White pulled up Holly's shirt and prepared her stomach for the sonogram.**

**"Ready?" Dr. White asked.**

**"So very ready." Holly whispered. Dr. White moved the machine around so they could see their baby pop up on the screen.**

**"All right. Here is your baby's head. You can see the profile and it sucking it's thumb." He said.**

**"So cute…" Carlos whispered.**

**"That string of pearls is it's spine." Dr. White said, "And that moving part is it's heart beat. It's beating nice and strong."**

**"Good." Holly couldn't stop grinning.**

**"And here are the toes and legs. It seems to be a good kicker." Dr. White said.**

**"Oh It is." Holly laughed.**

**"All right. Let's see if we can tell…." Dr. White was silent for a moment. Carlos watched a smile spread across his face. "I can see it."**

**"What is it?" Holly asked. Dr. White loved this part.**

**"You're having a boy." he told them.**

**"A boy?" Carlos croaked out.**

**"An extremely healthy baby boy." Dr. White said.**

**"I knew it." Holly grinned, happy tears filling her eyes. "I just knew we were going to have a boy."**

**"We're having a boy." Carlos whispered. Holly pulled him down into a kiss. They were having a boy. Both of them were so incredibly happy at that moment. Words couldn't describe.**

**If you would like an update on my fics or just general discussion, then join my e-mail list. Just e-mail me to join.**


	18. Flight of the Phoeix

1**May 23rd, 2005**

**Week 20**

**Nothing fit. Holly had a hard time finding clothes that fit her now. The weather was turning hotter and that made her miserable. She was too big to go out on runs now, so she just cleaned the house and answered the phone. She wasn't ready to go up town yet, but that day was finally here.**

**"Do you guys have names picked out?" Dave asked as he sat down at the kitchen table.**

**"No...not really." Carlos said. Holly cleared her throat.**

**"I've picked a name out." She said. Carlos looked at her.**

**"What is it?" he asked her. Dave smiled. He loved seeing little squabbles. It seemed Carlos and Holly had them all of the time. Holly bit her lip.**

**"This name means a lot to me so don't bash it until I'm done explaining it." She said. Carlos nodded. He knew Holly had a flare for funky names. Kindred was a funky name but it fit.**

**"All right." Carlos said, glancing at Dave, "Tell me."**

**"I'd Like to name him Phoenix Benjamin." She said looking at Carlos. His face didn't change, "Benjamin because its my maiden name and Phoenix...The story of the flight of the phoenix feels like my life."**

"**What's the story of the Phoenix?" Carlos asked.**

"**Well The Phoenix lives in a far away garden of flowers and beautiful crystal springs. When it's wings became heavy with age, the Phoenix built a nest of spice and herbs and all of that kind of stuff. The heat of the sun ignited the twins and the Phoenix stands in the flames with ti's wings out stretched." Holly explained, "The burn burned into ashes. In the cool dawn light, a young phoenix forms in the remains of its parent. The reborn bird rises with the rising sun and spreads its bright new red wings to greet the day. It flies high with a youthful strength, followed by all the other birds. It's its own parent and its own child, the only one in the world, the age phoenix dies and is reborn over and over and over again through out eternity."**

**"Wow..." Dave said looking at her, "That's a neat story."**

**"That's why I want to name him Phoenix." Holly told Carlos, "I really don't care if you hate it."**

**"I don't hate it." Carlos said taking her hand "I think it's a perfect name." Holly's eyes began to sparkle.**

**"Really?" She asked. Carlos nodded as he put their hands n her stomach. He couldn't feel his son moving beneath his touch but he knew he was there.**

"**It has meaning behind it and that meaning means a lot to you, Hol." He said with a smirk, "I think Phoenix Nieto has a great ring to it anyway."**

**"So do I." Holly breathed a sigh of relief.**

**"So do I." Dave said. Holly giggled.**

**"Well your opinion means a lot to us." She said. Carlos leaned over and kissed her cheek. She sighed slightly, "I cannot believe this is my last day in this station."**

**"You'll be back." Dave said.**

**"In a few months you'll be back." Carlos said,**

**"Will you be doing teaching or dispatching?" Dave asked her. Holly shrugged her shoulders.**

**"I think I would prefer dispatching. I can sit down all day." She giggled.**

**"Good idea." Dave chuckled as the sirens went off. All the men jumped up and ran downstairs. Carlos leaned over and kissed Holly on her forehead.**

**"I'll be back as soon as I can." He told her. Holly rolled her eyes.**

**"It's your job to be out there." She said as grace ran up stairs.**

**"Nieto, we need to go." Grace said. Carlos kissed Holly again and ran with grace. Holly sighed deeply as she stood up and walked out the window. She so wanted to be out there, going to whatever tradgey they were headed for. She adored her job and it would be hard being away from it. But being on the phones helping people would have to suit her and it probably would. She was counting the day already until she could come back.**

**  
June 7th, 2005**

**week 22**

_**Holly's heart raced as she walked down the long hallway. She put her hands on her stomach, trying to sooth her unborn child. She glanced around her. The hallway was grey and cold. **_

"_**Hello?" Holly called out. Still there were no responses from her voice. "Is anyone here?" Her blood began to grow cold as an awful metallic scent wafted into her nose. This wasn't a good sign. She knew from experience what kind of smell that was. **_

_**Holly walked to a door and gently touched it. A chill ran through her body. This wasn't good. This was really really bad. Holly opened the door and began to scream. Three mutilated bodies laid on the floor blood was every where.**_

"_**OH GOD!" Holly gaged. She leaned over and began to throw up.**_

"**Oh my god, Holly. Wake up." Carlos jumped out of bed, "Christ." Holly opened her eyes and saw she was sitting up in bed, covered in vomit. "Are you sick?"**

"**Oh god..." Holly got out of bed, "I just...a nightmare..."**

"**You threw up, Holly." Carlos untucked the fitted sheet.**

"**I realize that, Carlos." Holly pulled her shirt off, "I dreamt that I was throwing up."**

"**That's gross." Carlos mumbled, "Give me your pants and I'll wash these."**

"**I'm sorry, Carlos." Holly sighed walking into the bathroom.**

"**It's okay." He went into the kitchen and threw the soiled items into the washer. Carlos listened to the shower start up. She must be pretty embarrassed. Carlos walked into the bathroom and took off his pajama bottoms, "Once in high school, I dreamt I was peeing on a fire hydrant and I was really peeing on my bedroom wall." A small smile came across Holly's face as she got into the shower.**

"**Really?" She asked.**

"**Really." Carlos got into the shower behind her, "Shitty things happen."**

"**At least you didn't shit the bed." Holly turned and grinned at him.**

"**Wow. Yeah. Im glad I didn't." he pushed Holly's blond hair away from her face, "Are you sure You're okay?"**

"**I'm just nervous about tomorrow. I hate starting a new job." She said, "I think that's where my dream took place."**

"**Well, I think You're going to do wonderful." Carlos said, "You're a wonderful person so everyone is going to love you."**

"**I'm sure someone will not like me." Holly said.**

"**Yeah right." Carlos picked up their blue scrubbie and squirted Holly's lavender gel onto it, "Turn around and I'll wash you."**

"**A midnight washing. Im one lucky girl." Holly said as she turned around. "Do you realize that in eighteen weeks, we're going to be parents?"**

"**It's amazing." Carlos said. "I mean, I know how much I enjoyed having Kylie with me, but I know this is going to be different. I'm going to have nine months of getting myself excited."**

"**I don't think we can prepare ourselves for the initial meeting." Holly said.**

"**It's going to be powerful." Carlos said as he began to wash her stomach, "Phoenix is going to be so loved."**

"**He already is." Holly turned and kissed Carlos.**

"**I love you so much, Holly." Carlos whispered.**

"**I know you love me." Mischief began to twinkle in her eyes, "Man, I can feel how much you love me."**

"**You bring out the hardness in me." Carlos said. Holly giggled as she reached down and took hold of him. "Christ..."**

"**Do you think I'm too big to have sex in the shower?" She asked.**

"**No..." He mumbled.**

"**Well, do you want to try?" Holly's eyes sparkled with giddiness.**

"**Really?" Carlos smiled.**

"**Really." Holly said. Carlos leaned down and began to kiss his girlfriend. Okay, even though she had just barfed over everything, this was hot. Carlos would never turn away shower sex. He knew shortly he wouldn't be able to have sex for a couple of months so he was going to take it now when he could get it.**

**   
If you would like an update on my fics or just general discussion, then join my e-mail list. Just e-mail me to join. **


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